Mini update

Was there a weekend?  Blinked and it seemed it was over.  It was a beautiful one even if quick.  Broke the stall this week.  Four off and welcome to see.  Lots of major yard work and not as many workouts.  More missed meals than planned.  Things were just so busy.  

Did not sign up for the next session's classes yet (have a week to make up my mind on which).  Did sign up for the Put on the Line challenge session at the gym.  No backing out now!  The P90x came Saturday.  Have to read through it's info and get started on it.

Oh and the weight off this week puts me back in the 2teens.  Getting closer to the previous low of 211.  So hoping a few more pounds and then the challenge will finally get me to the so elusive onederland.    

Must get up

Oh my goodness... I was sore from the class yesterday and now feel like the tin man.  Had to take the day to catch up with all the yard work (it has been so neglected this year).  Then as the evening was coming on a neighbor-friend said this is the day we get the Fall plants in on the subdivision signs.  I'd gotten plants but we just kept having trouble having free time at the same time.  It was dark before we were wrapping it up.  Hate to say it but there is still the back yard to do.  Guess there is always tomorrow, well another day.  Though it has to get done because there were some bulbs that had to come home with me when I was getting some of the sign plants.  It was funny well maybe funny/sad but after the work all day, lugging the many large buckets of water out to the signs in the end felt impossible.  Still it had to get done, do not want to loose them after all that work .  Wish it ended earlier and there had been time to get to the pool.  Probably would not have wanted to get out though.  Just do some work and then floattttttt.  Somehow need to muster the will to get up, go upstairs, change and climb in bed.  Back to the gym tomorrow morning.  Unless I'm still stuck in this comfy, oversize, rocking chair dreaming of mums, asters and grasses oh my.  

It's down deep

Today was an eye opener.  The body is speaking clearly that it wants a shake up!  What I have been doing always gets a good sweat flowing and the muscles feeling used. Tonight it is very different, much more than muscles used.  I can still move (a good thing) but oh the burn, in deep (the best way I can describe it).  Had a feeling there was going to be some pain.  The trial expo class at the gym today was Yogalates.  I'd looked it up online but this was a bit more than what I'd expected.  I'd done yoga (Hatha and flow) and Pilates before though it has been a bit for steady classes.  This instructor was taking no prisoners.  She says you should be heating up about now and I'm thinking I'm in full flop sweats for goodness sake, think the heat is on.  The Pilates parts were also in fast progression.  Remember thinking in the regular Pilates class there was moving around between reformer, floor and other equipment.  This was all on the same mat and boom boom boom, no breather.  At this time I think it is back to the straight Flow class and a semi private Pilates (less down time in semi).  I found the quick foot changes (mostly in the rapid various sun salutations) hard on the foot that had the surgery.  It was better than a few months ago but still very picky on how it is landed on.  The original Flow class I use to do was fluid but not as fast so it maybe easier to get the foot to land without going numb or worse the lightening bolt.  It is a class I am hoping to work up to, both with the foot and fitness ability.  At the end of the class, stupidly I was mad that it had not gone wonderfully and hit the regular floor work hard.  Seemed reasonable at the time.  Thought I was going back to do the pool tonight but just going to do stretches at home.  

One hmmm moment came during the ending of the class.  While in Savasana, corpse pose the instructor said if you are thinking about your to do list or the such picture the thoughts in a bubble and just pop it.  Let it go and clear.  I love bubbles and love the image of putting thoughts in one and they break up with the breaking bubble.  At least while in the pose it worked.  

One other thing this class made me think about is do you have to do this type of sweat and burn to get things really moving (weight loss).  It ties in with another expo class from the other day.  Zumba, that class had me moving (not pretty to see) but it did not get a sweat started or even have the muscles feeling worked.  I do not want to say it was not exercise but it was not one that had me feeling it.  It was something new and very different from anything I'd done before (never been a very girlie dancer).  Felt silly during most of it.  The instructor looked great and owned it.  Just wonder if it would really get the pounds dropping after what I'd been doing.  In the end the all mirrored room would never get me to a place of forgetting my style of grace, or lack there of.  Maybe try it again at or closer to goal, when more maintaining.  

Late on Sunday scale fun

Just quick since it did not get in on Sunday weigh in, there was still no change in the numbers on the scale.  Dealt with it better than usual because I have gone down a pant size, a bra size (though not the cup) and can now get the wedding rings on.  Still wanting them a bit looser before always wearing them (afraid of the time to time bloats).  Guess this will do and just keep at it and hope things budge by next Sunday.

Saturday thoughts

This morning brought several large kick in the pants moments, again.  Maybe the rapid string of them was a blessing.  As they added up I finally got to the point of, that's enough.  Things have to change.  Sadness and frustration gave way to a decision to fix what is broken.  There is more than foods/exercise needing a revision.  It seems to be harder to do.  With that the whole day went up for grabs (but in the end in a good way, DH was feeling it also).  The only sad bit was no gym today, maybe that was good because after upping the weights yesterday I'm really feeling sore.  Tried to get exercise in around here with a hike and some time on the Reformer.   Otherwise it was fitting in things that have been on the back burner for a long time because of other commitments (that were always on call and shifting).  After that DH decided, with the new breeze blowing, it should be date night.  Though we were both laughing in the end that the movie was not a great date night movie choice (District Nine), we were glad we saw it.  It was funny, we were walking out talking about it and another couple were having the same conversation.  The four of us chatted and laughed about it for a nice bit.  

But back to the changes.  The decisions are take back some power, mix up the exercise with some new things and really work on letting go.   Take back the power... this trying to make everyone happy and fit to all their schedules (which are pretty sucky ever changing ones), is not working.  Going to make some personal priorities which others will have to respect and or at least work around.  Mix up the exercise... this week at the wellness center is their expo.  A bunch of free sample classes are offered.  Decided to try several I have not taken and try out a yoga that I'd stopped after the foot surgery (but it might work now at least a free class would not hurt as a trial).  They are also going to be offering a 8 week *lose ten pounds group class*.  I think I'll try it out and loss whatever comes off ;-) (that does not start until a bit later in the month).  Wish there was a bit more info on what this class does but it is free so just go and see.  On the fence about a semi private Pilates class it sounds great but pricey.  Still deciding about that one.  Also going to be getting the P90x dvds.  My son wants them (he has friends doing them) and if they are here it would not hurt to give them a go.  Letting go... this is the hard one!  As the years go by I hate to admit it is getting harder.  That seems to make it all the more important.  Getting so bogged down in crappy feelings is so tiring and not were I want to be.  So why the tendency to keep things bouncing around in my head.  Hoping the return of yoga and a strong effort to just keep releasing as soon as the pangs start work on this.  

Going to see what the scale says tomorrow, there had not been a change as of yesterday but today got back into a size smaller jeans.  

*Abby Normal*

Trying to catch up on some blogs I came across Mizfit's post on lowering the average bar?  The first thing that came to my mind was what is the bar marking? Is it size, health or both? Thinking it over (and comments made from it) is it really that people set a bar or that they forget the bar (for a multitude of reasons).  Do we need a bar?  If we are motivated do the best each day and just keep at it as part of life do we need to compare?  Just do it!  Realistically look at your foods, movement and lifestyle not the people around you.  It is your machine you're tuning or riding into the ground.  Even when weight is at goal for a measure of health good quality foods within portion and exercise are what the body and mind needs. (Side note this summer a lot of time has been spent in hospitals and a rehabilitation after surgery home.  This will drive home a desire to stay healthy and strong muscle and endurance as we age! )  

The whole idea of average or normal has been a problem for me.  Over these three years that is what is the biggest longing, super fit the dream.  My normal (average has never been felt, be it to thin, healthy or fat over the years) would be comfortable... to look at naked in the mirror, at a pool oh swimsuits, running those stairs (why stairs?  ;-\  God I hate stair laps!).   There was a time those things just were.  Have to hope to get them back, work to get them back.  This rode is taking it's time just have to keep up the stride, for life.