Friday, July 10, 2009

Not a happy one

No jokes or smiles.
A phone call can have such an impact.  It can take a morning with thoughts of what to do and turn it right around to negative thoughts and inactive numbness.  
There had been no call after the blood test and I'd mistakenly come up with the idea the numbers were good so they were just going to mail the information.  Like in the past.  After all some weight has been starting to come off again.  Clothes fitting better.  She had taken me off the high blood pressure medicine and water pill since the blood pressure was so good at that visit.  That seems to be going fine.  Since the food and exercise has been good it was just going to be another, you're doing what you should keep it up.   Everyone happy.  Not quite the way it went.  All the numbers are UP (at least that is nice for the good cholesterol, the thyroid was normal w/ the meds.) now even the glucose was quite elevated.  Did they say come back in?  NO.  Did they say anything?  The nurse just said, "oh wait there is something here... you might want to try Alli.  Just do not go long with fasting." before hanging up.  Huh.  She had said at the visit it would not help because it lowers hunger (not a problem) and keeps you from eating to many fats (it's lovely side effects do and I already have the liver helping me on that).  Plus I read the info and it advises not to take with thyroid problems (that was one of the reason for the blood test).  
Just do not get it.  What to change now?  I hate food.  I hate this body.  I'm sorry.  Changed it all the first year and things worked beautifully.  Now two years later I feel better but the tests do not show it.  Just went numb inside this afternoon.  Stupid thoughts of stop eating and screw work outs.  (I did not say intelligent thoughts)
Now my son is nagging bodily and verbally to get to the gym!  Guess I HAVE to go.  Maybe it will turn my head around...
after the gym decided...
B banana, ice tea
S none
L  broccoli, salmon, ice tea
S none
D none
S none
track 30 min.
weight machines
stationary bike 30 min.
son had me work the punching bag for a bit (take that frustration!)


Lee said...

Might not hurt to have someone else look over your test results.

Hope you feel better about things after your workout.

Getting Healthy said...

I was thinking of contacting the gastro. doctor but the primary should send me. And he is not cheap (if insurance does not pay).
The workout did, not so numb and teary now more mad. Going to use that to keep working on it.