what's in the details

Mini update

2009-09-13T23:08:00.000-07:00

Was there a weekend? Blinked and it seemed it was over. It was a beautiful one even if quick. Broke the stall this week. Four off and welcome to see. Lots of major yard work and not as many workouts. More missed meals than planned. Things were just so busy.

Did not sign up for the next session's classes yet (have a week to make up my mind on which). Did sign up for the Put on the Line challenge session at the gym. No backing out now! The P90x came Saturday. Have to read through it's info and get started on it.

Oh and the weight off this week puts me back in the 2teens. Getting closer to the previous low of 211. So hoping a few more pounds and then the challenge will finally get me to the so elusive onederland.

Must get up

2009-09-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness... I was sore from the class yesterday and now feel like the tin man. Had to take the day to catch up with all the yard work (it has been so neglected this year). Then as the evening was coming on a neighbor-friend said this is the day we get the Fall plants in on the subdivision signs. I'd gotten plants but we just kept having trouble having free time at the same time. It was dark before we were wrapping it up. Hate to say it but there is still the back yard to do. Guess there is always tomorrow, well another day. Though it has to get done because there were some bulbs that had to come home with me when I was getting some of the sign plants. It was funny well maybe funny/sad but after the work all day, lugging the many large buckets of water out to the signs in the end felt impossible. Still it had to get done, do not want to loose them after all that work . Wish it ended earlier and there had been time to get to the pool. Probably would not have wanted to get out though. Just do some work and then floattttttt. Somehow need to muster the will to get up, go upstairs, change and climb in bed. Back to the gym tomorrow morning. Unless I'm still stuck in this comfy, oversize, rocking chair dreaming of mums, asters and grasses oh my.

It's down deep

2009-09-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today was an eye opener. The body is speaking clearly that it wants a shake up! What I have been doing always gets a good sweat flowing and the muscles feeling used. Tonight it is very different, much more than muscles used. I can still move (a good thing) but oh the burn, in deep (the best way I can describe it). Had a feeling there was going to be some pain. The trial expo class at the gym today was Yogalates. I'd looked it up online but this was a bit more than what I'd expected. I'd done yoga (Hatha and flow) and Pilates before though it has been a bit for steady classes. This instructor was taking no prisoners. She says you should be heating up about now and I'm thinking I'm in full flop sweats for goodness sake, think the heat is on. The Pilates parts were also in fast progression. Remember thinking in the regular Pilates class there was moving around between reformer, floor and other equipment. This was all on the same mat and boom boom boom, no breather. At this time I think it is back to the straight Flow class and a semi private Pilates (less down time in semi). I found the quick foot changes (mostly in the rapid various sun salutations) hard on the foot that had the surgery. It was better than a few months ago but still very picky on how it is landed on. The original Flow class I use to do was fluid but not as fast so it maybe easier to get the foot to land without going numb or worse the lightening bolt. It is a class I am hoping to work up to, both with the foot and fitness ability. At the end of the class, stupidly I was mad that it had not gone wonderfully and hit the regular floor work hard. Seemed reasonable at the time. Thought I was going back to do the pool tonight but just going to do stretches at home.

One hmmm moment came during the ending of the class. While in Savasana, corpse pose the instructor said if you are thinking about your to do list or the such picture the thoughts in a bubble and just pop it. Let it go and clear. I love bubbles and love the image of putting thoughts in one and they break up with the breaking bubble. At least while in the pose it worked.

One other thing this class made me think about is do you have to do this type of sweat and burn to get things really moving (weight loss). It ties in with another expo class from the other day. Zumba, that class had me moving (not pretty to see) but it did not get a sweat started or even have the muscles feeling worked. I do not want to say it was not exercise but it was not one that had me feeling it. It was something new and very different from anything I'd done before (never been a very girlie dancer). Felt silly during most of it. The instructor looked great and owned it. Just wonder if it would really get the pounds dropping after what I'd been doing. In the end the all mirrored room would never get me to a place of forgetting my style of grace, or lack there of. Maybe try it again at or closer to goal, when more maintaining.

Late on Sunday scale fun

2009-09-07T23:49:00.001-07:00

Just quick since it did not get in on Sunday weigh in, there was still no change in the numbers on the scale. Dealt with it better than usual because I have gone down a pant size, a bra size (though not the cup) and can now get the wedding rings on. Still wanting them a bit looser before always wearing them (afraid of the time to time bloats). Guess this will do and just keep at it and hope things budge by next Sunday.

Saturday thoughts

2009-09-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

This morning brought several large kick in the pants moments, again. Maybe the rapid string of them was a blessing. As they added up I finally got to the point of, that's enough. Things have to change. Sadness and frustration gave way to a decision to fix what is broken. There is more than foods/exercise needing a revision. It seems to be harder to do. With that the whole day went up for grabs (but in the end in a good way, DH was feeling it also). The only sad bit was no gym today, maybe that was good because after upping the weights yesterday I'm really feeling sore. Tried to get exercise in around here with a hike and some time on the Reformer. Otherwise it was fitting in things that have been on the back burner for a long time because of other commitments (that were always on call and shifting). After that DH decided, with the new breeze blowing, it should be date night. Though we were both laughing in the end that the movie was not a great date night movie choice (District Nine), we were glad we saw it. It was funny, we were walking out talking about it and another couple were having the same conversation. The four of us chatted and laughed about it for a nice bit.

But back to the changes. The decisions are take back some power, mix up the exercise with some new things and really work on letting go. Take back the power... this trying to make everyone happy and fit to all their schedules (which are pretty sucky ever changing ones), is not working. Going to make some personal priorities which others will have to respect and or at least work around. Mix up the exercise... this week at the wellness center is their expo. A bunch of free sample classes are offered. Decided to try several I have not taken and try out a yoga that I'd stopped after the foot surgery (but it might work now at least a free class would not hurt as a trial). They are also going to be offering a 8 week *lose ten pounds group class*. I think I'll try it out and loss whatever comes off ;-) (that does not start until a bit later in the month). Wish there was a bit more info on what this class does but it is free so just go and see. On the fence about a semi private Pilates class it sounds great but pricey. Still deciding about that one. Also going to be getting the P90x dvds. My son wants them (he has friends doing them) and if they are here it would not hurt to give them a go. Letting go... this is the hard one! As the years go by I hate to admit it is getting harder. That seems to make it all the more important. Getting so bogged down in crappy feelings is so tiring and not were I want to be. So why the tendency to keep things bouncing around in my head. Hoping the return of yoga and a strong effort to just keep releasing as soon as the pangs start work on this.

Going to see what the scale says tomorrow, there had not been a change as of yesterday but today got back into a size smaller jeans.

Abby Normal

2009-09-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

Trying to catch up on some blogs I came across Mizfit's post on lowering the average bar? The first thing that came to my mind was what is the bar marking? Is it size, health or both? Thinking it over (and comments made from it) is it really that people set a bar or that they forget the bar (for a multitude of reasons). Do we need a bar? If we are motivated do the best each day and just keep at it as part of life do we need to compare? Just do it! Realistically look at your foods, movement and lifestyle not the people around you. It is your machine you're tuning or riding into the ground. Even when weight is at goal for a measure of health good quality foods within portion and exercise are what the body and mind needs. (Side note this summer a lot of time has been spent in hospitals and a rehabilitation after surgery home. This will drive home a desire to stay healthy and strong muscle and endurance as we age! )

The whole idea of average or normal has been a problem for me. Over these three years that is what is the biggest longing, super fit the dream. My normal (average has never been felt, be it to thin, healthy or fat over the years) would be comfortable... to look at naked in the mirror, at a pool oh swimsuits, running those stairs (why stairs? ;-\ God I hate stair laps!). There was a time those things just were. Have to hope to get them back, work to get them back. This rode is taking it's time just have to keep up the stride, for life.

Time flies

2009-08-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

Somehow finding a voice again has to happen. Hate falling into shut downs.

Things have gotten to a point (again) were life is just in get through it all mode, day after day. At least this time the weight issue is not taking a hit. Twenty pounds off this summer, and hoping it keeps rolling off. It is what I am holding on to. Just keep thinking tomorrow will bring that spunk back and then post, reply to others posts and be in the game all around. Just does not seem to come. Have to try and make it. School started this week and with it came the OCD and anxiety in my son (full force). Even with all the great changes he made over the summer and how well he was during it. How can it be the same kid, how can it be changed? Seeing it happen like someone flipped a switch was a very hard slap in the face. I want the guy that was there all summer to walk through those doors. Counseling did not help last year and he does not want to go back. Wish it was his senior year instead of junior. I think he will be much happier in college.

Still trying to find a different way to be with all the situations (son, dh mid life crisis and grandparents). The present being is not working. Thought as you get older you get wiser, it all seemed much easier in past years. I seem to have less answers and feel less happy in this body. Going off to the gym (the happiest place right now) and burn some of this off.

You do not have to be the leader if you have the heart to come from behind. ~from the pool message board the other day (like to think or the purpose to keep at it)

Rock out who you really are in your heart. ~from yoga journal (now to try and tap back into it)

Body fighting back tonight

2009-08-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Not sure what was going on tonight during the gym work out. During the track bit the sweat started flowing, pretty much from the start and not like usual. While working the weight machines the amount of weights which is what I have been currently using felt like I'd upped it by a lot. Third sets were sadly cut shorter. Still sweating more than usual. Then on the bike the thighs (mostly the left) were cramping up. I have never had this before. As for the sweat this one is harder to tell because I usually sweat a lot here anyway. Wish there was time to fit in the pool to try and feel better but we were at closing time. Hope what ever it was passes and things go back to normal tomorrow. Played hookie this morning and went for a two hour hike instead of the gym or pool. Just needed to be out and have more of a meditative walking time. It was beautiful weather, the heat came in later.

My weight may be moving slowly but my son's having great results, oh to be sixteen (not really for a lot of things). I am so proud of him, he set goals for the summer and really stuck to them. Today before the gym we went to the sporting goods store, he had a list. Besides the air soft pelts, soccer ball and golf Frisbee he needed some new cloths. He has dropped three sizes. It was the first time he was smiles and happy where he was. He actually picked out shirts that are not black. It was so good to see him feeling good about himself and not questioning if he was going to make it by the start of school. We will still need to get the replacement pants but he is hoping to get more off. He is my gym buddy and get in shape hero this summer.

And the was much rejoicing, well some

2009-08-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

Had a different post in the works but today at the gym the scale finally dipped into the seemingly elusive 220s (hear the choir of angels). Last September was the last time those numbers came on the digital screen. Almost a year of bouncing around the thirties and forties, irrational but when the scale stuck at 230 last week it felt like a sign. Not a good one either! If this two twenties sticks around (and I'm open to it still working down) for Sunday weigh in then the 50 pounds lost badge can come back. Silly as it maybe, this makes it feel like something is really moving again not just fluctuating. Fingers crossed (little voice inside rapidly repeating oh please oh please oh please), okay that sounds way to desperate.

I have been asked to join a weight loss team at the gym that starts in September. There is a contest that would run until the end of December. Panic hit fast and hard! Real thoughts of NO it is just going to disappoint everyone. They would want good losses. One guy says, the way you work out just watch what you eat and it is sure to move. He has not read this blog has he. I have really felt the answer was going to be a, thank you, you're really nice but well I suck at this. I'll be cheering you all on though. Starting to rethink it, there is still a little time. It would be nice to join in, just do not want the thinking halfway through, can we vote her off or who's idea was it.

Still lost in thoughts

2009-07-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

Not much to say today. Still working through parents on the mend. It has been a period of much thinking since there was a lot of, quiet just being there, time. Lots of thoughts and questions but not the final answers. Still it looks like a much better week is ahead!

Sunday weigh in this morning was a happy surprise with two more coming off. Most of the week had looked like a stand still.

Came across these two, make you smile shorts...

...now back to the gym for the floor work. The pool was so lovely this morning (early mornings on the weekend tend not to be crowded), hoping to feel as refreshed tonight.

Bye to the beeping monitors

2009-07-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Glad to say GOODBYE to these rooms today and in no hurry to visit again any time soon. Have to add all the people that worked at both hospitals were great in every possible way. They do amazing jobs. Both my father in law and mother have been in different hospitals for a bit more than a week. They both have on going issues but are glad to be moving on. Father in law is moving to a nursing home which has a wing for patients which still need extra help for a bit and my mother is home but has special care needs.

The time in the hospitals has been an extra eye opener to how we can do a number on our bodies. Both parents had several room mates with various health situations during their stay. Hearing their stories and how each doctor handles their situations brought many thoughts around. The most, hit at home, was a rock solid commitment to sticking to a healthy lifestyle. Being on the brink of several things it would be crazy to try and kid myself to sneak around them. Knowing I have followed in my mother's foot steps for a lot of my health/body history highlights it even more. A lot of what she is going through could be in store for me if I'm not careful. I do not understand how a few of the room mates just wanted to get fixed (medicine, procedure and/or not to be bothered anymore) and go back to things as usual. It just seems like what brought them in should make an impression for at least a little time. One woman wanted diet pop and potato chips, for breakfast (plus she was missing her cigarettes). How long do they think they can abuse their bodies and get away with it, whether it is food, smoking, susbtances, exercise or high stress. Even if they can kid themselves about being there looking around at some of the situations on the floor can make you stop and think.

Which leads into time in the cafeteria, a disappointing time. I was surprised to see a pretty poor set of choices in it. Even more, seeing out of the choices what was on most plates (even with the health care workers). Why would a hospital cafeteria have so few healthy foods? Creating more business? There are signs up in numerous places for classes or speakers on weight loss, diabetes and heart disease but go eat fried, sauced or cheesed platefuls. One of the two hospitals had a few more choices, though not many.

-----------

As for the Tuesday HYC, managed a pound loss this past week.

Hoping to kick it up some this coming week.

~~~~

Posted to fast. My father in law has gone back into the hospital.

HYC Tuesday CI

2009-07-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

From the pool today...

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined." Henry James

Saw the message board today and was glad to see a new quote. At first just thought, that is nice but it did not seem to spark much new. Jumped in and OH the water was cold today. As the workout brought my brain around to being fully awake you've imagined kept nagging sharper and sharper. A thought came around, that imagining had sort of stopped. Just walking through and getting things done had taken root. Settled? Stuck? Asleep at the wheel? In years past there were lots of dreams and thoughts of who, when, how, what... no not that maybe this. Recently several sharp nagging pokes on this theme have tried to be felt, just mindlessly swatted away them like mosquitoes. Maybe it is time to listen before sharper ones are sent.

What a day for a lifedream...

B banana, ice tea

L salad with turkey breast shavings, ice tea

D broccoli and carrots, halibut, ice tea

______

(morning)

pool 60 min.

(evening)

track 30 min.

free weights

stationary bike 30 min.

HYC check in

Still on the two pound roll off this week. I'll take it :-).

(The sixteen year old is kicking my a** at this, he is shaping up amazingly. He is down another size.)

Weekend

2009-07-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

Lots going on this weekend. Planned and more unplanned.

Hoping to get back to this.

************

Sunday

B banana, ice tea

L broccoli, 3 slices pork tenderloin, ice tea

D veggie salad with grilled chicken breast, ice tea

____________

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines

bosu work for abs

stationary bike 30 min.

Saturday

B - banana and cherries, ice tea

L - sm. salad, hamburger, ice tea

D - asparagus, broccoli and cauliflower, beef strips in an onion tomato sauce, ice tea

____

(morning)

pool 60 min.

It isn't the things that are happening to us that cause us to suffer, it's what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening. ~Pema Chodron Source: Talking to Ourselves

Not a happy one

2009-07-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

No jokes or smiles.

A phone call can have such an impact. It can take a morning with thoughts of what to do and turn it right around to negative thoughts and inactive numbness.

There had been no call after the blood test and I'd mistakenly come up with the idea the numbers were good so they were just going to mail the information. Like in the past. After all some weight has been starting to come off again. Clothes fitting better. She had taken me off the high blood pressure medicine and water pill since the blood pressure was so good at that visit. That seems to be going fine. Since the food and exercise has been good it was just going to be another, you're doing what you should keep it up. Everyone happy. Not quite the way it went. All the numbers are UP (at least that is nice for the good cholesterol, the thyroid was normal w/ the meds.) now even the glucose was quite elevated. Did they say come back in? NO. Did they say anything? The nurse just said, "oh wait there is something here... you might want to try Alli. Just do not go long with fasting." before hanging up. Huh. She had said at the visit it would not help because it lowers hunger (not a problem) and keeps you from eating to many fats (it's lovely side effects do and I already have the liver helping me on that). Plus I read the info and it advises not to take with thyroid problems (that was one of the reason for the blood test).

Just do not get it. What to change now? I hate food. I hate this body. I'm sorry. Changed it all the first year and things worked beautifully. Now two years later I feel better but the tests do not show it. Just went numb inside this afternoon. Stupid thoughts of stop eating and screw work outs. (I did not say intelligent thoughts)

Now my son is nagging bodily and verbally to get to the gym! Guess I HAVE to go. Maybe it will turn my head around...

***************
after the gym decided...

B banana, ice tea

S none

L broccoli, salmon, ice tea

S none

D none

S none

_________

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines

stationary bike 30 min.

son had me work the punching bag for a bit (take that frustration!)

The queen of what

2009-07-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not worthy... but thank you, thank you, for this honor ;-)

Today at the pool it was a beautiful morning. The water felt SO good and I was ready to get a great workout in. Powered through various laps, worked the weights and board. Back to some more various laps. Next, stopping at the end of the lane to do some tucks with weights. A man that had been in the hot tub was squatting down and greets me with... you are the Queen of the water aerobics! Well, that's a first. A nice one, you never know what someone is going to say at the pool. Some of the guys sit in that hot tub way to long. I'd thought he just wanted to share the lane at best. He chatted about a sort of class that meets twice a week he thought I might like (They also do lap type work, not slower lower impact. You work a bit more on your own in it than the others). The timing of them stink though, that is the problem with most classes. Not sure I want the crown. That would mean every work out needs to be of royal effort. The pressure. What if I was caught just noodle floating? The horror.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B banana and cherries, ice tea

S none

L chicken breast and pineapple skewers drizzled w/teriyaki over baby spinach, ice tea

S *oops* some of my son's M&Ms at the movie, water

D none

S (after gym) cabbage crunch, slice of ww flaxseed bread with meat sauce, ice tea

________

(morning)

pool 60 min.

(evening)

track 30 min.

stationary bike 30 min.

elliptical 20 min.

HYC check in

2009-07-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

This Sunday's weigh in has the numbers heading two pounds down. One more and I will be back at last December's weight. The waist measurement has stuck for a long time, BUT the others were where the increase was showing. It goes to the upper arms, thighs, chest and back. This week is showing changes for the better again in those areas. Did not have to do the Stretch the freshly washed jean squats so the thigh sections are not skin huggers this morning.

********

Why The Weight has a post for Operation Beautiful and in it these two bits screamed to be passed on.

and

Really glad to find the site at this time.

***********

B slice of ww flaxseed bread, ice tea

S none

L (late) sm salad, a chicken shish kabob (green pepper, onion and tomato), ice tea

S none

D none

S banana, ice tea

__________

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines

stationary bike 30 min.

yoga (at home) 30 min.

Good ~ Bye Monday

2009-07-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

"Love is sustained by action,

a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." ~N. Sparks

This quote on the pool message board did not seem to *fit* at first. Then while working the lapse I thought, "What if the Love was for myself?". Have not been feeling that lately though trying to fake it until it became real. The bit about pattern of devotion seemed to stick out (and give a sharp poke). It cannot just be lip service, to work. Somehow need to get more behind it.

B none

S none

L peppers, ww orzo w/meat sauce, ice tea

S 3 cubes of cheddar cheese, ice tea

D none

S banana, ice tea

_______

(evening)

pool 90 min.

yoga sequences off the internet (tv dead, may it rest in peace, so no dvd, and NEEDED to center)

Loving Sunday

2009-07-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

Early morning pool lovin (Just had to squeeze it in!)

B none

S none (early morning swim and then errands)

L cup of potato soup, 4 BBQ rib pieces, green beans, ice tea

S pistachios, ice tea

D broccoli and cauliflower, potato salad(light on the sauce but still to much potato for one day), 3 chicken tenders, ice tea

S banana, ice tea

_____________

(morning)

pool 75 min.

(evening)

60 min. hike (then about 30 min. much slower pace)

Last two days have gone by to fast. Throwing up these two posts (Sat. and Sun.) fast.

Hoping this week brings more time.

Happy Rainy Fourth

2009-07-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

B banana, ice tea

S none

L cup of chicken gumbo soup, broccoli carrot and cauliflower, salmon, ice tea

S none

D asparagus, cabbage crunch, 3 slices turkey breast, ice tea

S watermelon (it's the fourth), ice tea

_____________

(morning)

30 min. elliptical

weight machines

30 min. stationary bike

Oops missed posting...

Family Fun Friday

2009-07-03T18:35:00.000-07:00

B banana, ice tea
S none
L (not such a healthy choice, china buffet) a little broccoli chicken, a little pepper steak, 2 small pot stickers, seasoned green beans, a little cantaloupe, ice tea
S none
D pico de gallo, 2 chicken taco, ice tea
S bowl of berries, ice tea
____________________
(morning)
track 30 min.
weight machines 3 sets of reps
stationary bike 30 min.

Family get together day. Back to eating at home tomorrow. It was beautiful weather and nice to have the family (my husband's) all in one place at once (not easy to do). It was a lot of sitting, so glad we got into the gym early to get some work in.

Feeling Good Today

2009-07-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

and it feels good...

B banana, ice tea

S none

L pickle spear, bison burger, ice tea

S none

D none

S (more like dinner) broccoli cauliflower and carrots, a little mash potato, 3 slices roast turkey breast, ice tea

________________

(morning)

lots of yard work and mowing

(late afternoon/evening)

1 1/2 hrs. pool

neighborhood walk

A very busy day. It was the first day of no HBP med. and water pill. So far no bloat and the numbers were still good.

2009-07-01T16:17:00.000-07:00

B none

S none

L none

S none

D broccoli and cauliflower, ww orzo, 4 oz. BBQ pulled pork (only added a hint of sauce to mine), ice tea

S banana and strawberry slices, ice tea

__________

(evening)

30 min. track

weight machines (3 sets of reps)

bike 30 min.

Today was a doctor's appointment at 3:20. It was time for the blood tests so it was fasting for the day. The blood pressure was still so good (110/70) that she said I could try going off the HBP medicine and water pill if I wanted. She had always said I had to lose the weight before going off them. Going to give it a try and see how it goes. I'd really love to be off them. I'd love to be off all medicine but think the thyroid medicine is here to stay. The talk about getting the weight off went pretty much the same as before, just keep up what I'm doing and remember I'm doing things for health even if the weight does not move as I would like. Have to admit it made me quite sad at first. She kept saying there is no magic pill. I KNOW there is no such thing, but just wish there was something else to try and get things moving like the first year so things were not just yoyoing. Time to get over it and just keep working. Fingers crossed all the blood test numbers come back good.

Lightheaded Tuesday

2009-06-30T20:18:00.000-07:00

Woke up not feeling well this morning and ended up coming home and going to bed for a bit. Stayed home the rest of the day but got caught up on some home things later in the afternoon. This evening I was only up to the pool. Hoping to feel better tomorrow and getting more in.

B banana, 3 slices roasted turkey breast, ice tea

S none

L none

S none

D none

S sauteed red cabbage broccoli and red pepper, broiled chicken breast, ice tea

__________

(evening)

pool 75 min.

new pool message board today

There is no challenge more challenging than the challenge to improve yourself.

Michael F. Staley

Oops Sunday

2009-06-29T07:06:00.001-07:00

Monday

B slice of ww flaxseed bread, ice tea

S none

L broccoli, quartered petite roasted potato, halibut, ice tea

S none

D none

S banana, ice tea

_________________

(morning)

pilates reformer

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines (3x3)

bike 30 min.

*****************

Sunday

B none

S none

L macho nachos, shared a hamburger, ice tea

S shared brownie wedge, ice tea

D none

S four breaded chicken tenders w/ranch dip, ice tea

___________

(morning)

1 1/2 hour hike

Sunday was a mess emotionally and eating. Today was, get back in line day.

Sunday again

2009-06-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Catching up ...

managed a 2 pound loss this week. *Hoping* It had been at one pound yesterday morning at the gym and I'm a little afraid the second is water after being out sweating most of yesterday. The only thing is the eating was off with not being at places with great things to pick from. There was a lot of water which may have balanced it out. The festival was fun and the bands were good (of course I liked my son's the best ;-) ). The evening get together was very nice just wish people would plan in some healthier choices along with the so called goodies. Today is back to a regular day and it is so much cooler. Nice break. Off for a morning hike with this nice weather.

Saturday

B none (at the gym)

S none

L shared a pulled chicken sandwich, raspberry italian ice and a lemonade shake up, then lots of water (at a festival)

S none

D these chicken nuggets w/a sauce over them, a bread stick, ice tea (they only had even worse choices and a bunch of gulpy gopy salads)

S none

_________

(morning)

track 30 min

weight machines (3 sets of rep)

stationary bike 30 min.

*****************

Friday

B banana, ice tea

S 1/4 of a cup blacken chicken salad, ice tea

L none

S sm. salad, bread stick, broccoli cauliflower and carrot, salmon, ice tea

D none

S 4 seven grain crackers, rainbow trout spread, ice tea

_________

(morning)

mowing an hour (front) and other yard work

pool 60 min. (son wanted to go to the gym in the afternoon needs his Friday night open)

(evening)

neighborhood walk (forgot to time it)

**************

Thursday

B banana and cantaloupe, ice tea

S none

L none

S asparagus, blackened chicken salad, ice tea

D none

S cabbage crunch, meat sauce over slice of flaxseed bread, ice tea

____________

(morning)

2 hour mowing back and sides then some yard work (oh so hot)

(evening)

30 min. track

weight machines (3 sets of reps each)

20 min. stationary bike

2009-06-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

B banana, ice tea
S none
L none
S air popcorn, ice tea
D none
S garden salad, 2 slices roasted chicken breast, ice tea
____________________
(evening)
75 min. pool

Just to hot and humid for almost anything. On to Thursday.

The day went to...

2009-06-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

FAST!

B strawberry slices, 3 turkey breast slices, ice tea

S none

L none

S sm. salad, 2 slices roasted chicken breast, ice tea

D none

S organic foursome (carrot peas corn and green beans), meat sauce over ww orzo, ice tea

__________________

(morning)

30 day shred dvd, (level one and some of level two)

(evening)

30 min. track

weight machines (3 sets of reps each)

30 min. stationary bike

Hanging in there

2009-06-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

B slice of ww flaxseed bread, ice tea
S none
L 1 pickle spear, 1/2 of a turkey sandwich, ice tea
S handful nut seed mix (sunflower, pistachio, walnut and apricot kernel), ice tea
D none (at gym)
S carrot and asparagus, 1/2 broiled chicken breast, ice tea
_____________________
(morning)
pilates reformer
(evening)
30 min. track
weight machines (3 sets of reps each)
30 min. stationary bike
45 min. pool

Festival, Pool and Ditkas

2009-06-21T19:33:00.000-07:00

Weekends go by WAY to fast. Took a few hours out of Father's Day to stop by the Cantigny Fine Arts Festival. There were some very creative artists. Love window shopping. Several booths had musical artists which were very interesting. It was so nice to hear them as you walked through the booths. Have to go back soon to see all of the gardens. It was so hot and humid only ventured through a small bit. They were beautiful and need to bring a camera next time.

Sunday weigh in was a good one. Now to keep that going and get back in the swing.

The message board at the pool just had Create Your World on it. Taking that to heart again, lately it has felt like just walking through the paces. Time to reconnect.

B banana, ice tea

S none

L sm. salad, 3 chicken tenders, ice tea

S none

D asparagus, a little garlic mashed potato (DH ate most), Parmesan encrusted sole, ice tea, then a few spoons of DH's raspberry sorbet (dinner at Ditkas, yum)

S none

_____________________

pool 60 min. (afternoon)

45 min. dvd floor work (evening)

Sunny Saturday log

2009-06-20T19:11:00.001-07:00

B slice of flaxseed bread, ice tea

S none

L carrot and snow peas, 3 slices sirloin roast, ice tea

S none

D one BBQ pork slider, some crab cake, sauteed veggies(broc, cauliflower, red peppers and carrot), raspberry lemonade(w/vodka) (also tried one gator tail, it was good, but fried, so why did I try it RRR)

S none

___

(morning had chasing to be done so gym in the afternoon)

track 30 min.

weight machines (upper and lower 3 sets of reps each)

stationary bike 30 min.

Friday

2009-06-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

Getting this in fast, storms today/tonight and the power keeps going in and out.

B banana, ice tea

S none

L none

S 3 cheddar cheese cubes, 5 seven grain crackers, ice tea

D garden salad, 3 chicken tenders, ice tea

S strawberry slices ice tea

___

had to get in mom's yard work before more storms in the morning/afternoon (so no walk or such, still really worked up a sweat it was so hot and humid)

then one thing after another all evening and no gym (though my son made it in, show off ;-) )

With a little help from my son

2009-06-18T21:20:00.000-07:00

Really did not feel up to the gym tonight. I mean really! My son gave the push to get my sore body there. Would have loved the pool but there just was not time. Even though it is work it is so relaxing at the same time. Did not have dinner because DH wanted a certain dinner that took time and it was just to much right before working out. By the time I was home just did not want much. It was nice to get back in some of the Pilates again. Still having problems with some of the exercises that have you on the toes (from the surgery). It made me realize how much I have missed the yoga (since I tend to think of the two together).

B banana, slice of ww flaxseed bread, ice tea

S none

L a little broccoli slaw, pepper slices, tomato and red onion, tuna steak, ice tea

S none

D none

S cup of chicken veggie soup (late again), ice tea

___

(morning)

pilates reformer 45 min. (to stormy for walk or bike ride)

(evening)

track 30 min.

some weight machines (different ones from the other days) both upper and lower(3 sets of reps each)

30 min. stationary bike

Going so fast, the days

2009-06-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

Every day I think tomorrow I will get to posting earlier and actually write something. Then it is really late and I'm sore after a late workout at the gym and it goes for another day. HMMM, Need to get into a better pattern.

*******************************

B banana, 2 slices turkey breast, ice tea

S almonds, ice tea

L cup beef veggie soup, broccoli, peppers and onions, 1/2 a chicken breast, ice tea

S none

D none

S (late because of gym) 3 pickle spears, ice tea
______________________________
(morning)
60 neighborhood walk
(evening)
30 min. stationary bike
upper body weight machines (3 sets of reps each)
15 min. elliptical (foot with P.F. started to really hurt so stopped)
60 min pool

Tuesday's stuff

2009-06-16T20:36:00.000-07:00

B 1/2 turkey sandwich, ice tea
S banana, ice tea

L green beans and corn, 3 sauteed chicken tenders, ice tea

S none

D broccoli snap peas and carrots, meat sauce over ww orzo, ice tea

S cantaloupe, ice tea

_______________________

(morning)

60 min. neighborhood walk

(evening)

30 min. elliptical

lower body weigh machines (3 sets of reps each)

60 min pool

Almost did not make it

2009-06-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

To worn out and sore to think. The day went so fast. Shower and then sleep, that sounds good.

B banana, slice ww flaxseed bread, ice tea

S none

L cup chicken veggie soup, broccoli carrot and cauliflower, halibut, ice tea

S none

D none

S (late, after gym) another cup of chicken veggie soup, ice tea

____________________

(morning)

60 min bike ride

(evening)

30 min. stationary bike

weight machines (3 sets of reps each)

30 min. track speed walking

Also mowed the grass and gardened this evening that is why the gym was so late.

Fast weekend

2009-06-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful morning, perfect for a start the day walk. With all the rain things are so green and blooming. The day was full of have to does but made it to the gym in the evening for a bit before it closed. Over all a nice day.

B banana, ice tea

S none

L cup potato soup, broccoli snow peas and carrot, 1/2 a sauteed chicken breast, ice tea

S 2 pickle spears, ice tea

D leftover veggie mix (broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, snap peas, small hot and sweet peppers) w/broiled chicken breast, ice tea

S 3 cubes cheddar cheese, ice tea

_______________________

(morning)

60 min neighborhood walk

(evening)

30 min. stationary bike

weigh machines (3 sets of reps each)

20 min. elliptical

Here we go

2009-06-08T20:06:00.001-07:00

Game back on, now to make it stick again.

It has to, that is all there is to it.

B slice of ww flaxseed bread, ice tea

S banana, ice tea

L tomato and onion, cabbage crunch, tuna steak, ice tea

S none

D broccoli carrot cauliflower and small hot and sweet peppers, 4 oz. sirloin steak w/onions, ice tea

S almonds, ice tea

______________________________

track (speed walking) - 30 min.

weight machines (3 sets of reps each)

stationary bike - 20 min.

pool - 60 min.

Oh, the endurance and muscle tone goes fast. Today pointed that out. Just have to work through this again. My son has joined the gym and he also went today. We have agreed to keep each on this. There is a goal for next March for both of us. Hoping we are both happy in the end.

Trying to catch up some

2009-05-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

Have to get back to things like before. Seems like I keep saying that. *Sigh*

--------------------------------

Wed.

B -banana, toasted slice of flaxseed bread w/almond butter, ice tea

S - tuna and crackers, ice tea

L - cup of beef veggie soup, broccoli cauliflower and carrots, 3 slices pork tenderloin, ice tea

S - none

D - none

S - none

At lunch a very bad migraine hit and lasted thru the evening. Worst I've ever had, in bed most of that time.

Thurs.

Still not feeling good but better than the day before...

B - banana, ice tea

S - almonds, ice tea

L - turkey sandwich w/baby spinach, tomato, provolone, oatmeal bread, ice tea

S - none

D - tomato and onion, cabbage crunch, tuna steak, ice tea

S - strawberries, ice tea

Fri.

B - 2 slices turkey breast, slice of flaxseed bread, ice tea

S - none

L - (late for lunch) a wing and a breast of fried chicken, potato salad, ice tea

S - none

D - salad w/ 1/2 a bison burger patty, ice tea

S - slice of chocolate cake, ice tea

What a bad food day! It was hard yard work ALL day and food was not my doing... but still my poor choice to go along with :-( !

Still just the log

2009-05-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

It is late night again and pretty tired. Somehow life and this house has to get back into a routine.

-----------------------------------------------

Monday
B- banana, slice of flaxseed bread, ice tea

S - almonds, ice tea

L - cup of veggie chicken soup, broccoli, halibut, ice tea

S - none

D - green beans, broccoli slaw, turkey sloppy joe, ice tea

S - cantaloupe, ice tea

No gym but lots of yard work.

Tuesday

B - banana, cup of great grains pecan cereal w/1/2 cup skim milk, ice tea

S - none (doctor appt. went long)

L - 3 sauteed chicken tenders w/Italian herbs, green beans and carrots, ice tea

S - none

D - none

S - (after eight, son's choir concert this evening) melon melody - cantaloupe honey dew and watermelon, ice tea

Got in a 2 1/2 hr. hike. We (DH and myself) played hookie and enjoyed the beautiful afternoon.

Wrapping up the week

2009-05-17T21:22:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful Sunday. Full house and son had his garage band concert. It was a great time. No strong exercise this week but two pounds down.

------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday

B - banana, ice tea (had to be up early and not very hungry)

S - none (ended up out longer than planned and did not take anything)

L - big garden salad, pickle spear, ice tea

S - cashews and 2 slices muenster cheese, ice tea

D - baked chicken breast w/basil and tomato, a little fettuccine ,spinach, ice tea

S - pumpkin muffin top, hot tea

--------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday

B - banana, slice of flaxseed bread w/almond butter, ice tea

S - none

L - carrots, cauliflower, 2 slices roast beef, ice tea

S - some dough balls (small pizza dough squares with pizza sauce they did not sit well later), ice tea

D - broccoli slaw, green beans w/almonds, salmon w/lemon, ice tea

S - apple, ice tea

Getting through to next week

2009-05-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Rainy dark day and Crazy people... not a good mix

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday

B - ice tea, banana, slice of flaxseed bread and 2 slices turkey breast

S - none
L - sm. garden salad, pickle spear, 1/2 hamburger, ice tea
S - raspberries strawberries and blackberries and a dk. chocolate mint, ice tea
D - brussels sprouts, 1/4 cup potato salad, chicken breast, ice tea
S - dk chocolate covered almonds, ice tea

-----------------------------------------------------------

Friday

B - banana, last of the turkey and slice of flaxseed bread, ice tea

S - none

L - cup of chicken veggie soup, salmon w/lemon, carrot broccoli and cauliflower steamed, ice tea

S - cantcloupe, ice tea

D - (ends of leftovers) snow peas, carrots, pepper mix, 2 slices roast beef, ice tea

S - (lost it! :-( and way past eight pm...) c h o c o l a t e!

like it would fix things fail

Wet and windy Wednesday

2009-05-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

This week has been a very busy, out of the norm, one. Hope to get back to really posting and working out next week when life and the house gets back to normal.

-----------------------------------------

B - ice tea, strawberry and cantaloupe blend drink

S - a little sauteed chicken breast, 3 seven grain crackers, ice tea

L - beef veggie soup, ice tea S - none

D - 3 slices roast beef, carrots and snow peas, quinoa, ice tea

S - cashews, ice tea

...only house work and rearranging things.

Trying to get on a schedule

2009-05-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality. ~Ralph Marston

Need to work on those doubts.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

B - ice tea, banana, slice of flaxseed bread and 2 slices turkey breast
S - cherries (the end of them sadly), ice tea
L - chicken fajita salad, ice tea
S - almonds, ice tea
D - 3 oz. beef fillet marinated, sauteed peppers onion and garlic, snow peas,
ice tea
S - cantaloupe, ice tea

Did not get exercise in.

Lots of house and yard work to get done. My son is coming home from college tomorrow and my husbands parents are coming Thursday for the weekend.

Here it goes again

2009-05-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

Back to square ONE, starting today.

B - ice tea, banana, slice flaxseed bread w/sauteed chicken breast chunks (leftover)
S - none
L - ice tea, sm. salad w/squeezed lemon, halibut, broccoli carrot and cauliflower steamed
S - 2 slices muenster cheese, ice tea
D - ice tea, turkey sloppy joe, green beans
S - cherries, ice tea

---------------------------------------------------------------

60 minute speed walk

Should know better!

2009-04-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

WHY pizza and beer, WHY?

(curse you Home Run Inn)

.......................................

........................................

Think the working portion of my brain decided to take time off last night!

Paying the price for it still. It was only one beer and a slice of cheese pizza (all be told a BIG slice) but the lack of a gallbladder and messed up liver spells trouble. At the time I just did not care, not quite that way late into the night and today. No one made do it and it will hopefully stick this time (or at least for long time again). There is no getting around the fact if I play I'll pay... and pay. Thank goodness it was not more crap, the chicken tenders and Ranch had been calling pretty strong. If your going to be stupid be GOOD and stupid, stopped at stupid thank goodness. On to a good day of easy on the tummy stuff. And a lot of water to deflate the puff ball.

The fairy strikes again

2009-04-16T17:54:00.000-07:00

Birthdays are good for you.

Statistics show that people

who have the most live the longest!
~ Father Larry Lorenzoni

**********************************

Time to update the age in the profile again. It was a beautiful day today, sunny and warm. That kind of day seems to go by so fast. You just have to love them. It was nice timing for this weather since I had to stay home for the repairs from the major leak in the ceiling. Since a lot of the house is torn up and dust going everywhere working outside fit in nicely. It was great to be out working in the gardens. Mostly it was cleaning and prepping them. Most of the daffodils are blooming. Some of the mini iris are done but not all. Bluebells are just about to start. Tulips still to get going, just leaves. Put in some English daisies I'd gotten as a gift. They are new for the garden and look so sweet, hope they do nice. There were quite a few gold finches out singing and it was great to see them turning yellow again, one more sign the season is here.

Behaved on the food today. Actually things have not been sitting well lately (making me nervous) so I was not tempted. The guys did not mind missing a go out birthday dinner. There are so many April B-days in the family it gets old anyway. Hoping the yard work was decent exercise because it was just that and walking the neighborhood, for the day. Back at the regular tomorrow. Maybe bump it up because my son's B-day is Saturday and he will pick a dangerous dinner place. They are his favorites. Have to go easy, there are two more next week. April... party month.

HYC weekly check in

2009-04-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

This week's weigh in looks like a three pound lose on paper but two of those were gone earlier in the week fairly quickly. They were the salt induced water weight from the previous week. I have not gotten in as many workouts as I'd like this past week with kids back home, holidays and the big home repairs going on things got in the way. Some of that is gone this week so getting back into it maybe easier.

What a difference a day makes

2009-04-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

It was long over due.

Time to play hookie, from it all! Woke up to a beautiful morning and know it is going to be a busy weekend so made the rash decision to just have fun today. After dropping my son off at school drove to the arboretum and spent the day hiking, running and nature watching. The weather was wonderful. Early on there were few people and it was so peaceful and nice to spend more time taking it as a work out. As it warmed up and more people were around (still a lot less than on weekends and holidays) it was great to take in the nature. Having the trees leafless made it easier to see the birds and animals, glad to say there was a lot to see. A few shrubs and woodland flowers were starting to bloom. I came across a spot that smelled wonderful and realized a couple of viburnums had the flower buds just barely opening. Spring is definitely here. The daffodil fields were not blooming yet so it just means another trip is needed. Around the time my feet were starting to talk up, I looked at the cell phone and saw it was a little after one o clock. Finished up the trail and having only a short time before having to head back to the school for my son decided to eat there. They had a 1/2 salad option (the regular ones people had were really big) and the roasted asparagus and potato sounded good. It was, made up of baby spinach topped with the asparagus, a few potato quarters, cherry tomato and red onion (had hard boiled egg and a cucumber slice as well but those are not my favorite). They had several of these cute little biscuits and though not whole grain I took one. It was topped with a little rosemary, tasty. Nice end to the visit.

Got to the school on time, made it to his two appointments and then cell rings.

My husband thinks it is so nice outside we should go for a hike (he did not know of my earlier change of plans)... take son home, pick up DH's walking shoes and change of pants, head to his office (he changes), off to hiking again (different location). We had fun. By the end it was getting later so stopped for quick dinner and then back to his office for his car. I stopped for some dinner for my son, he calls and he needs to go to Best Buy and then to a friends. Get home feed him, have to return some calls and the take him on his way. Finally ended up at home at 9:42. I did not get anything done today but it was worth it. Though there were times today out on the trails I felt tired now the feeling is energized. Better turn in anyway, tomorrow starts a very busy weekend (and it will have to play catch up for today but that's fine it was fun).

Hoping all the hiking and such worked out to be enough exercise.

Hurts so good

2009-04-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

Going to feel it tomorrow!
It was a day of one BIG stress after another. By tonight frustration and anger seemed stuck inside. It was past comfort food or cravings. Just knew it had to get out somehow, it was literally making me feel sick. Put in the 30 Day Shred (since it was in the plan already). Starting it up, the thought of beating the stress out seemed like a good option. Pushed through level 1, 2 and 3, ouch just determined to have power over something . Time for a nice long warm shower and comfy jammies. Leaving today day behind and looking forward to a better new day!

someday , hopefully I'll look this good sweaty :-).

Oh and the running intervals are really lame at this point but going to stick it out and try to work them up. If that will be possible, time will tell.

HYC Tuesday

2009-04-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

Sunday's weigh in was up but today it is off. It felt like water weight at the time. That is all good but at the same time there is no real drop going on. Something has to give, I want to reach that elusive Onerland again. Reevaluating it all I'm thinking it is time to make a big change up in the type of work outs. I really like what I'm doing but there was an article about a man's success story which pointed out his total routine change brought about the renewed weight lose after a long period of being stuck. It is not a completely new idea just that I'm at a point of frustration that even things I hate would sound good if they would work. Still going to keep a few things thrown in, that I like, here and there.

*Since the reformer is at the house it can be done a couple of evenings. The Pilates class will go on hold for a bit though.

*Thinking I'll keep one yoga class and still do some home practice. It helps with more than just weight lose. The pool is the same and that will happen as there is time if nothing else because I love it.

*Here is the hate part, running intervals. Phew I said it, it is out there. I hate to run, always have even when I was thin. Just think it might be the kick in the pants that is needed.

*Going to talk to the trainer about a free weight mix. I have thrown in some basic ones now and then but think she could come up with a good shake up.

*Go back to the Shred dvd. I started it and then oops. Well, back to every day.

*Another thing that was not followed through with was the quick burst aerodyne bike intervals.

I'm on the look out for different things and will ask the trainer when I talk to her about the free weights.

Puffy weigh in

2009-04-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

The Sunday weigh in was not good, a two pound gain, BUT it seems to be water related. It showed up this morning (weight had not been up yesterday morning). Fingers and feet quite puffy and as the day moved on it has gone way down. I'll check the scale in the morning. Salt is killer for me and we had to eat lunch out yesterday. The menu was mostly way off my food choices. Chose soup and side salad, the soup was good but think it was very salty. Not going to be down about it just hate to have to enter the gain. Hoping to make next week a bigger lose than the two from this week.

*Monday morning things better with rings, shoes and bra, oh salt.

Time for a big old kick!

2009-04-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

****************

Not going to be an April Fool!

March ended with that foolish state winning. Not feeling well, not exercising, falling into doing for everyone else and turning off otherwise, thought those days were long gone, what the heck. Last night I ran into an old friend from a past job in the grocery store. The conversation we had stuck with me and for some reason it brought these feelings of realizing how lost and backwards I was slipping. I was rationalizing that the food was still good so it was all good. So wrong! I should know better, it has to be the whole package. Besides the biggie of exercise, I'd slipped into the routine of not bothering with myself. My friend stood there looking so nice and I happened to see my reflection behind her in the glass door and shrank. That should be a wake up sign that things are off. It looked like I fell out of bed and hit the ground running (which I did). It just creeps in though, one thing at a time like the rest. It all STOPS now.

Time to be April Fabulous not an April Fool.

Need to Catch Up

2009-03-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

Crazy busy times while being sick, that's life at the moment. Even with that the scale seems to be glued in place. Have to admit the workouts have not happened like needed. With ear infections just have not felt up to them. The upside, eating has not been bad. Things not tasting like much and just not hungry.

Somehow April HAS to be the month that things get moving again!

Just for a wee bit O fun

2009-03-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day

=========================

Holiday Cardio ~ Dance the Irish Jig
Steps
1. Point your right toe out in front of you. It should be straight out from your knee.
2. Step your right foot and bring your left foot together behind it. This is the "One-Two"
3. Move your toe up to your left knee and give a little hop.
4. Swing your right leg back so you are standing like a flamingo. Hop in place on your left foot.
5. Put your right foot on the floor behind your left foot.
6. Take three little steps in place behind you, starting with your left foot.
7. Repeat two times, all starting with your right foot in front.
8. Lastly, repeat steps three and four. Then repeat step four with your left foot going back in to the four little steps. This is called officially called Rise and Grind, although it is commonly refered to as "Hop-hop back, Hop back Two-Three-Four"
9. Now you can repeat the entire thing, starting with your left foot in front.
10. At the end, point your toe again and take a bow!
Tips
* Be careful not to fall when standing on one foot or hopping.
* Practice!!!

-from wikiHow

Another Week

2009-03-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

... need to do something different.

What though?

Things still at a standstill, feels so hopeless.

Regrouping and not giving up on the dream.

Monday's Madness

2009-03-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

On the pool's message board today...

Confidence imparts wonderful inspiration within it's possessor.

I should have seen it before the final bit of the work out today. There was a determination driven by doubt that made most bits of me very sore now. Pushed everything very hard. It was not a pretty picture. A little concerned for Pilates class tomorrow, praying things do not tighten up. She will show no pity. But that is why we love her so. Maybe some yoga tonight to try and ease things out.

Sometimes the signs are just there

2009-03-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

Gratitude For Five Wonderful Things Yesterday

1. Teachers/Instructors

(the people that put together the garage bands got me started thinking on this line but then it went into thinking of any... at the gym, school, crafts/arts and on)

2. Rain

(sounds silly but the sound of the rain was so peaceful after a long winter)

3. The chicken gumbo soup

(it was made for me, and it was delicious)

4. Music

(yesterday was my son's concert and in the evening there was a Chris Botti concert on tv)

5. New sheets

(so soft and cuddly)

Have to admit the above was started because Sunday weigh in this morning had set the wheels in motion for a down day. The lack of real losses so far this year brings thoughts and emotions that IT will never happen. That at best just staying where it is, is the future. Not the future I want at all. The television and computer were both starting up. The television was still set to the public station and on it was a program with a doctor talking about the brain. He was showing scans of two brains one with positive and one with negative thoughts. Needless to say the positive thought brain was the one you would want working in the skull. He gave the practice of each day thinking of five things you were grateful for or happy of and meditating on them for five minutes or so each morning. That is probably not new to me. Heard it before in similar forms but seeing the scans and feeling the way I was at the time just seemed to click. Just do it! The scale is not the be all and end all of the universe. It should not darken the rest of my thoughts. So besides monitoring the food, exercise and numbers, the good things are going in also. Each day be they big or small they will be part of the program (putting it on the side bar so I do do it).

Side note This coming week STRONG cardio every day!

Breath into it

2009-03-04T14:23:00.000-08:00

This was not me today but it will come again!

First day back at Joyce's flow yoga class. It had been missed in more than one way. Still think it would be great to record the class even if just her talking to us through out it. She always touches on so many little (and sometimes big) things that at the time I think needed to be remembered. Sadly I'm not always good at the memory thing. Went into class sore as anything from the first day of Pilates yesterday. It was hard realizing how far the ability had dropped but decided it was just take it step by step again. Joyce had given me a few options to work around the foot before class and reminded just make sure to honor where you are at. During the start of class she brought up, becoming unplugged. She had just been to a yoga teachers training/retreat in Jamaica (her photos always makes a trip like that an item on the wish list). She related the theme of unplugging from the trip to our time in class. To let the practice in class be a time of unplugging from "it all out there". That is one of the things I like about the class. Other classes and work at the gym do not seem to have the same ability to step out of it all. Moving and breathing through the poses somehow has such a relaxing effect even during the times where the muscles are at that edge in a stretch or shaking while holding. Leaving the room it dawned on me there are always big smiles and laughing on the faces after the class. What a great thing.

Classes start

2009-03-03T13:29:00.001-08:00

Tried this out today and it was a killer for me, but a good one! (Sorry about the ad before the demo) Going to be adding it into the work out a couple of times a week.

Diet.com Videos : Quick Fat Burning Cardio Workout

Posted using ShareThis

*****

Weigh in Sunday, as well as today, brings no change in any numbers (scale or measurements).

It plays such mind games with me emotionally. Found myself very depressed and wanting to isolate and give up eating altogether. Like that would really be good at any level of it. One of these days the "it" that was working will switch this body back on. Being at war with this body sucks though. Just have to keep at it whatever!

Classes started this week at the gym. I have signed on for one Pilates circuit and one yoga. I wanted to see how the foot would do since they are pay extra classes. Glad to have started the class today but there are still some things to work around. Pushed a few things I should not and then had to go easier on some of the out of class things. It gave me an idea of what to watch out for in yoga tomorrow. Definitely no sitting back on the top of the foot. That was a BIG mistake. The instructor had pushed and I caved on it. Not again for awhile! She did not understand it was the foot in pain not my thighs. You're strong enough to do this, push through it, she repeats over and over. Kept hearing the doctor say if it hurts do not do it. She and I were not hitting it off as it was, so did not want to have one more rub since it was close to the end. The instructor was a sub and it is a good thing. Sadly she was the type to take one look at a person and have them totally defined. How she spoke and treated me made it obvious (to myself and anyone in the class) my bio was fat, never moves or works out and not capable of much. Safe to say if her name is by a class there will be no dollars paid out in the future. It is the first time at this gym I have had an instructor like her. There were instances I thought it was walk out time but then felt to hell with her get what you can from today (and thank God the other instructor will be back next week).

It was so hard to put up with that instructor feeling the way I have the past week or so. It was one more thing to make the thought of isolation sound so much better. That is not a good thing. Having people treat you like your just a lazy couch potato and/or a mindless food devourer when you are working at this so hard sends a knife in. Even this, I am so tired of rehashing it. Go dry the tears and come back when things are back in line.

Some Hope Again

2009-02-22T18:39:00.000-08:00

Maybe overkill but YAY!

Finally a loss (2 pounds) with Sunday weigh in today.

It felt like it was never going to start down again. Now to keep it moving. Plan for this coming week is to kick my butt at the gym again!

Cardio and Talking

2009-02-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

Just not sure... today the plan was to power through all the work out. A peek at the scale had the motivation level up. It is only Tuesday but there was a little drop (now to keep it off until Sunday weigh in) after the four week stall. Just as I was getting starting on the treadmill a very nice woman started the machine right along side. She was nicely dressed, thin and loaded with magazines and a book. She began at a light pace which never changed and also started talking. In a different setting or time she would have been a great person to get to talk with. The problem, the plan was to keep things at a level where talking would not be at a comfortable level. I thought the sweat dripping and difficult talking would be a clue as time went on. Is it rude to not want to be chatty through your workout? How do you nicely let someone know this is not really the time you want to have a conversation? Keep hoping someone would get on the machine on the other side of her and they might start talking. In the end got a good workout in. Feeling pretty sore after three days of good work outs. Back at it tomorrow.

Got Some New Shoes On

2009-02-16T19:08:00.000-08:00

New shoes this evening. Went neighborhood walking to try them out and they are feeling great. They are like the hiking boots by Merrell I'd gotten this winter. They have the same features. Hoping they work as well at the gym. The New Balance shoes I'd gotten after the surgery work fine for everyday walking but not as well during harder cardio at the gym. Which I really found out today. With Sunday's numbers deciding not to budge, the plan this week is to get in and push hard all week. While the foot was acting up I decided to try shoes like the boots. They are so light weight with nice support. Looking forward to putting them through the paces tomorrow.

Wow I'd forgotten how much the Ipod helped me get through the work outs at the gym. It was left on the charger this morning. Cardio feels like a long time without tunes. For some reason the gym did not have their music on either. It lets the mind wander, but still kept an eye on the time and levels. This week is going to show a loss, all the sweat and sore muscles will make it happen! The next class session sign ups start soon. The classes start in March I'm really ready for them.

Scale Seems Content

2009-02-15T13:30:00.000-08:00

The numbers were still the same with this weeks weigh in. Four weeks at this place. Guess it is better than a gain... but. It was only four days of the gym this week and one with exercise at home. Have to do better this coming week! Bumped up the weights on the machines and picked up some laps on the track so it is starting to get back to before, really feeling it already. BBL there's a house full.

Watch Out Here He Comes

2009-02-13T22:01:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentines Day

******************************

Does Not Go Away But Better

2009-02-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

Self sabotage, I was thinking about it the last couple of days and Scale Junkie's post asking about it got me thinking more than I what seemed like a comment.

To start, this evening at dinner Doritos were being chomped (first time in over two years, what was I thinking) and thank goodness it was only a small shared bag because it would have probably gone on as long as they were available (possibly more if going and getting added bags was an option). Looking back it was sheer blowing off steam eating with a bash of Oh who cares anymore. It has been a week again! The rest of tonight has been mini silent heated self discussions on going for other possibilities. See at this point I cannot have a little bit of "whatever " trigger foods. Certain things just flip the switch. There was a time in past years that moderation or "planned small portions" worked. Now the taste buds switch to junk favoring unlike they are when I eat the clean healthy foods. When eating without junk (salty or sugary) and processed foods, veggies and fruit taste better and different. As to how I stick to it now, back at the start of this health issues MADE it necessary. No more warnings or this can happen. You see the fat in organs (in my opinion worse than seeing it on the body) and having to have blood tests at least every six months hit home. The fact that eating some of the things can make me really sick, the body just does not process it very well any more helps most of the time. But who wants to get there? It was not until the menu changed that I even realized how a lot of what was going in was causing different issues. But back to the self sabotage. Tonight is remnants of the list of reasons for me. When it is all to much this is my drug and I get to who cares if it takes me out thinking. As things added the mind went to the list of pacifiers and when they were all labeled "not possible" the partial bag of cheesy crispiness screamed, I'm here, I'll help. Desperation said just go for it! It was licking my orange finger tips for the last taste that got me realizing, what in the world are you doing! Brought back some thoughts to fight the darker ones. After all none of the issues of the week were cured after chomping them down and added bites would not really help as some part of my mind was trying to reason. At that point the plan of mindful living and health can start to try and trump again. After all without the unwanted choices I'd started to get the eczema and hormone problems lately why ask for more problems.

Fear from many stems has been a trigger in the past. Dealing with my son's anxiety and OCD issue has shown me that fear is a large part of this as well. A lot of what they want him to do is the same for this issue (and funny a lot of what I'd found in yoga that he teased me for). He fights it and like his mom over the years says this just will not work for me (but see fear again fear it will not work). The difference this time around for me was it HAD to work, and it did. Just some of his "homework", breathe through it, journal, planned strategies, and one of the hardest now facing it/living through it for set period of times. At the end of that noting he can get through it, that the anxiety/fears will lessen and the world does not come to an end.

Deprivation, a biggie in the past! When it comes to food, people can fast for long periods, they do not have to have that ice cream or Doritios ;-). I can go without, it is not a deprivation. It is a choice. In other parts of life there are things I enjoy that I could consume (vacations, cars, jewelry the list goes on) but instead the college funds and the like were chosen. Have not sat back and thought, oh I did not get to have "X", it's not fair, just because I think I want it I should have it, someone else has it so I should have it. I give the item it's value or not. Is happiness in life eating whatever and/or how much or is that one more thing I think is needed and a given.

Hormones and blood sugars, argh! I'd like to throw in taste bud sensitivity also. The first two can mess things up and need to be dealt with. They make self sabotage so much easier. They are stealth SS. They whisper and you may not even realize where it is coming from. Both once started can keep cycling around until dealt with, for me cravings. Cravings are the out of the blue all consuming, must have like the dog on the commercials for a bacony treat acted. The taste bud sensitivity is unlike cravings. It hits with the sensitive food on the tongue. I remember closer to the beginning a family member saying you just have to try a bit of this. Yes I gave in and that little bit (and it was) set off a long period of give me something sweet, more More MORE, are you not listening said voices in my head. It was way to fast for blood sugars or anything like that. After talking to people I'd found a couple tricks to help, brushing your teeth or mint they said sugar free gum but for me even the scent of mint helped (use mint scented lip balm). The best not to have them.

There are plenty of other reasons out there for any kind of sabotage. In the end it seemed to me the questions I had hated, why do you want this and do you need this are two of the three that I need to ask and really give more than passing thoughts answers. For to many years the answers were, because and hell yeah, way to many times. The third question, why not have this is the big brother to the first two. There to keep the first two in check.

Hope and belief has to trump fear. Gratitude tops deprivation feelings. Centering leads back from emotions and leads to calm and rational thoughts and wants. And when a fall comes along, to whatever depths, breathe and take a step on. The world did not end (after all I'm telling my son that, it has to be true).

Okay Body, Fighting Back

2009-02-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

The pool's memoboard message today...

Defeat should not be thought of as a discouragement

but a source of a fresh stimulus.

To be honest I was fighting feeling defeated. It has been so long since things have really been moving like the first year. Wish just eating right would work alone but that is not to be. Yesterday I'd decided it was hit the workouts hard this week, no matter what.

Gym workout today

track 30 min. (speed walk # of laps getting back up there)

weight machines (three sets of reps each)

rowing machine 10 min.(to hard on the foot so had to stop)

bike 25 min. (10 min random, 10 hills, 5 race)

pool 60 min (about 15 min hand weights rest laps swimming and upright w/hand weights).

Foot was almost to swollen to get the shoe on but it is back down now.

Husband wants to take a walk tonight and hoping to get the reformer in tonight also.

...well off to some work.

45 min neighborhood walk

This Weeks Mantra

2009-02-08T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today's weigh in was a little disheartening. It was still the same numbers on the scale. I'm just not getting anywhere with this anymore. The week's eating was fine but not much strong exercise. Did not get time to play princess but between being sick in the start of the week and events, workouts just did not find a place. It HAS to be different this coming week. It will be different this week!

Here goes the happy

2009-02-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

The evening just kept throwing things right and left but it is, turn in time and...

* son is breathing better so things are starting to turn around some

* did not turn to chocolate anything

* did not give in to picking up the ooey gooiest baked mostaccioli next to one of the errands

* did not lose it with anyone at any turn today

* got everything done that HAD to get done

* though the college guy's computer has crashed we will get to see him this weekend when he comes home to get it worked on, hopefully fixed

* I stopped sneezing, yeah

* did not drink anything stronger than hot tea

* tomorrow is suppose to warm up!

Bring on Thankfully Thrilling Thursday :-)

Slap Slap

Whooo a bit of a scare

2009-02-04T14:07:00.000-08:00

just kidding but it has been a day!

Wake up still feeling pretty bad with this cold and fighting with my son about getting up and going to school. He has missed so much already. Get home from taking him and husband needs somethings done for him because he is late and not well either. Then mom calls she needs some help. As that is wrapping up the school nurse calls. She has been "discussing" the not feeling well with my son. After much go around he is coming home, she does not agree with this. When home he shows me raw red skin and hived areas. This and he is jumpy and he says aching everywhere badly. Call the doctor, get a nurse who is thinking he should come in. By the time of the appointment he definitely looks like and is showing signs he should be seen. I am feeling guilty for the morning doubting. It turns out he is having an allergic reaction to his latest antibiotic. So it is off all the meds he is taking and switching to dealing with this for now. Get him back home and resting so I can pick up his new prescriptions. One problem is the medicine for the reaction is one that set off tremors last year so we are to watch him. Then it is call the therapist because he is not making his session today, I think that is understandable. No, he did not give twenty four hours notice for cancelation so it will be a 150 dollar charge. Gee, we forgot to plan this fun allergic reaction. What can you do? Just hate throwing way the money. Not to mention the money for the medicines that did not work, then the medicines that he reacted to and now more medicine. Just wish out of all this he was actually feeling well, poor guy. In that vein the school mentioned if he misses two more days he will be dropped from drivers ed. (he does not like that at all) and we will not get the 300 dollars back or credited for next semester. Once gain he has been sick, very sick not just blowing it off. Poor husband called, his day has been on the same track and will be late. With that there are a few more things to help out with. I'll be glad to see this day end. No gym or work out. No work done. Did not eat anything until 3:30, oh well.

Will come back later when things are all done and quiet. Determined to end this day on a positive note!

Tuesday Drop In

2009-02-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

The weigh in stayed the same on Sunday. Started this week out with a pretty bad cold but hoping to get back to the gym tomorrow. I'll be going to doctor's appointments this morning and afternoon.

BBL

~just a thought to remind myself.

Today and night went way to fast. This is one pesky cold, going to bed early.

Went to a dermatologist and finally was told the stuff on my hand is a type of eczema. Have to change soaps, got medicated cream and moisturizer (plus a list of other doctor's orders). Hoping this finally works.

The foot doctor was very happy with the progress of the healing. He thought the toes were healing backwards though. He had worried about the big toe (he tells me now ;-) ) and that one is back to normal. It is the other two toes next to it that are still healing. He thinks they should both come around in time. I can keep the exercise the same for now since I'm doing a little more than he thought for now but it seems to be going all right. Oh, keep sneezing and the eyes are tearing... I give up. Hoping to wake up better, fingers crossed :-).

Saturday Fun

2009-01-31T17:29:00.000-08:00

Woke up today with a bug, so much for missing all the germs this winter. Not wanting to spread the joy around the gym I decided to get out and hike around instead. It became so nice here today in the 30s and sunny, just could not pass it up. It felt so good to be outside. There were joggers, ice fishers and cross country skiers out also. Each year think it would be nice to start cross country ski. They looked like they were having fun. Went off trail and hopping around in the snow for some pictures. Tried getting some of the birds but they were to fast for me.

Morton Arboretum (love this place)

Herrick Lake Forest Perserve

Probably not as strong of a workout as the gym but it was good for the spirit.

Since When...

2009-01-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

do I have to force myself to eat?

Food Blah! *Snap* Snap*Snap~ (goes that rubber band mentioned in past post)

Oh my goodness the governor is talking and talking and talking, again. To bad he does not know how to keep it short, on subject and truthful. Hope people outside of IL look further than his version of reality. He is either full of crap and does not care or delusional. I usually do not like to talk politics but he is adding to today's frustration.

Had to stay home to try and deal with the big water damage of over two weeks ago. Even after all the phone calls. It is still wait for more return calls. It is a mess and it does not seem to get anywhere. Just keep thinking it will restart as soon as the snow and ice starts to melt again if we do not get somewhere.

Another reason for being home was fear the school would be calling. So far so good, fingers crossed. My son has been sick and home for five days. Today is the first day back though he is not 100%. It is added with the fact he has anxiety/depression and OCD issues that have been really set off lately. Last night at his therapy session they started him working on desensitizing to the OCD. It is very stressful for him he has to do things that trigger the OCD. I am to be his partner in it (therapist and son's choice not mine). This is much worse for him but it is still hard for me. It is a balancing act with reminding but not nagging, not punishing or fighting but being firm and when he keeps at me not pay attention she says (hardest bit). Making those work is not always easy with a teenager.

Oh the list goes on but even writing it feels like it is adding to the spiral so, snap again and move on from it. Going to go and have lunch even though I'm not hungry. Last meal was late lunch yesterday. Guess it was better than mindless eating to drowned it all. Maybe some hardcore cleaning will burn off the frustrations since I'm home. Going to try it out after lunch.

Maybe a good time to try and put together that positive list Diana at Scale Junkie was talking about yesterday.

Snap * That Spark Back

2009-01-27T06:18:00.000-08:00

Finding the SPARK again is the plan for this week!

Not falling off the game plan but just not fired up at the moment, about anything. Maybe it is this winter. Maybe that the house has been full of sickies that just do not seem to be able to get well. What ever it is I need to find the spark to take things from just going through the paces and rev it up to that "what a day :-)! " kind of feeling. Hoping just working at it will start the trend in the right direction. Put a rubber band around my wrist and if things start to get negative or glazed dull it is time for a quick SNAP to be a reminder to snap out of it.

This Sunday's weigh in had the yo yo was back at the lower end of the swing. Today the scale is still holding there. Going to try very hard to make this week the week the string breaks on that yo yo and the numbers keep going down.

Off to the gym.

Back...

track 15 min. (trying to speed walk), bosu core work (ouch), bike 20 min. (foot seems to get bugged around 15 - 20 min.), weight machines (whoa, muscles got weaker), treadmill 15 min. (walking w/3 incline), pool 30 min. By the time I've gotten home things are already getting sore. Better do some stretches tonight.

The message board at the end of the pool's lap lanes spoke again.

Winners concentrate on winning,

Losers concentrate on just getting by.

No more just getting by, time to go for the gold.

After the pool treated myself to the steam room. Think it was the first time I've really felt warm in ages. Oh it felt GOOD.

Let's Start the Weekend

2009-01-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

Smiles are free...

so give them away.

Happy Friday!!! being sent out.

Which Way From Here

2009-01-22T12:50:00.000-08:00

I have read and liked Joseph Campbell for a long time. This quote had felt so true and in the past tried to follow it. In recent years other things came up that needed the time and focus. As situations are changing thoughts of bringing this back in seemed right. Here is the stumbling block, finding the bliss lane again. Tapping back into what it is. Where did it go, which way? Somewhere along the line it all became about others. Got very good at that, reading myself, not so good anymore. Do not seem to fit in my old paths. Back at the start but where is square one? Funny how you can lose yourself so deeply. With the health issues I'd found a way to reconnect with the body. Not always get it to do what I want but still hear it when it talks without having to have it scream at me. Somehow have to find that with the heart and soul. Maybe the numbers that I'm using to measure me (weight, measurements, size and age) will not be such an obsession if that connection is found again. I do not want to lose track of the weight goal but I have to stop having it be the measure of my personal happiness and worth. My mother was laughing (she not meaning to be mean) that the girl who was never getting married or having kids is the one who got herself into this place. She does not understand because she thinks that things as they are would be fine. For her they always were. If this comes up she seems to find it an attack at her choices. All I know is it is not working for me, not that it is right or wrong.

Hey universe could you just show a vague outline on the wall :-) ?

It's A Puzzlement

2009-01-20T08:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, putting this out there. Sunday weigh in showed no change from the week before. I had hoped for some loss since there had been a gain the week before. Dealt with it. Started going back to the gym Sunday and yesterday, today the scale showed two more pounds up, a very sad new high. Just do not get it and not sure what to do. I really thought after all the foot up time from the surgery getting back to the gym would help not send it up. I would love to say it is bloating but clothes and rings fit fine. I know I have not built muscle mass that fast.

Is there any one else working their program and not just stuck but fighting to keep from gaining? This all worked great the first year, second year hit some stalls and now just not sure what is up. Test shows thyroid medicine is working fine. What to do?

For now going to still eat clean, portion and workout. The good thing with working out is it sure helps my mood and feels great. The foot swells up but doctor said that is okay as long as it is not pushed to the point of hurting. The twenty minute speed walk is about that point. It felt so funny in the pool at first. Three toes are still off in their feeling from the nerve being cut. Could not run in the water yet but was able to get most other things in.

So want to get the numbers falling again. Fingers crossed for this coming week!

Another Sunday

2009-01-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

This week has been this each day.

Sunday's weigh in is back at the high swing. So many thoughts that run the same up and down spectrum but coming all at once . Going to get the morning moving and try and straighten them out.

Giving This A Try

2009-01-07T21:09:00.000-08:00

I like having a plan and when it is not working having something else to give a go. The eating clean and portioned is great for a lot of reasons. I love that I'm not hungry or craving things. It helps immensely with internal workings. Those make the top of on my list. It just is not cutting it, for weight loss, without the exercise. Went back to looking into some of my initial problems. The gastrointestinal doctor mentioned the start of insulin resistance back at the beginning of this road. That had seemed to be gone but thinking the lack of raising the heart rate has started it back up. Decided to go back and read up on it again. I found several sites that took it stricter than I have been doing, cutting out grains, sweeter veggies and fruits and starches. This week I'm trying it out. When the heart raising exercise comes back into the plan then thinking the items can come back. There was a good article in this month's OnFitness magazine about insulin resistance, The Enemy Within. The article talks about the balance of foods and exercise. It has a cycling schedule, it reminds me a little in theory of the rotation we did while doing Core at Weight Watchers a few years back. I am going to hang on to it and try it out once that kind of exercise is back in the plan.

Six Week Challenge (week two)

2009-01-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

The scale showed no change. I thought it would be that. Yesterday morning had prompted me to weigh in early. When I went to get dressed that morning had a very unwanted surprise. The jeans would not fit, no way were they going on. After a flood of feelings (to say the least) decided to weigh and measure. The scale (and it was checked and rechecked) was the same but the legs hips and much sat on backside are the problem. Waist up things are the same. Guess it is the stretchy yoga pants for now. Not buying bigger size pants.

Earlier in the week on Thursday I'd felt really good which was a mixed blessing. Started doing more, twice one of the incisions started to bleed so have had to watch it. Started to think why did I even start this challenge but I did so on it goes.

My challenge for this coming week is to do as much as I can and try not resenting what is right now. I'm doing better at that today, yesterday was a different story.

Good Start

2009-01-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

Last night was the first most of the night sleeping in three weeks. It was wonderful to wake up feeling rested and great. A good start to the new year. Wanted to get out of the house. Would have loved to go for a hike, it was cold and breezy but sunny. Settled for walking the mall while family did their returns. Managed 20 minutes, not fast and definitely not pretty but it felt good limping around with my mismatched feet. Came home and relaxed a bit got the guys feed and went to do the 6 week challenge upper body work on the reformer. When it was done things were feeling worked but ok and thought maybe try to up the heat rate more. Still cannot use the foot bar or rebounder but decided to try my old favorite (not) the one hundred. Hurts so good, definitely showed I was out of practice. Made me think of all the other things that are going to be coming back during 2009. Last year may not have been what I wanted it to be but today is always a new possibility.

2008-12-31T09:11:00.000-08:00

May the New Year bring the fulfillment

of wishes and dreams.

2008-12-30T20:28:00.000-08:00

Today's exercise for the six week challenge ~upper body work with hand weights and yoga upper body arm and shoulder stretches with bands followed by some yoga twist poses (seated and laying down).

Nothing to raise heart rate since the foot is sore from the doctor's visit. Good news I can lightly shower in the morning (happy dance, will be dreaming of a shower) and he said I can wear a shoe for short time periods now (bad news got home and none fit, foot to swollen, ha)

Just a Few Reasons

2008-12-30T11:05:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Dani of KICKIN' AWAY THE POUNDS NINJAKITTEE STYLE!. Thank You, it is a good time to think about this again!

10 reasons to lose 10 plus pounds (for some...Another 10 lbs!)

Rules:
List the 10 reasons why you are losing weight
Tag 5 others
Be sure to post these rules on your post
Be sure to link the blog that tagged you
See, simple, right?

My Top Ten:

10. This is vain but it is honest. To be able to see myself in photos without feeling sick inside.

9. To get my wedding rings back on. They have gotten so close but yet so far ;-\. Still like them better than the replacement!

8. To not feel self conscious at the pool in a swim suit because I love the pool. Will that ever come, HA?

7. To be able to do partners yoga without feeling sorry for my partner.

6. To grow older healthy and very active.

5. To help fight off depression and anxiety. The cutting out of sugars, processed foods and exercise does wonders.

4. To hopefully finally get my sons and husband on board. Maybe a completely fit mom would inspire changes.

3. To have the reflection match the original person I still feel inside. I know she is in there.

2. To keep the liver count at normal so to keep from having the biopsy.

1. To achieve my bet with the gastro. doctor that in ten years or less I will not have type II diabetes. So far numbers are good and less weight would surely help with that goal. Two years down, eight more to go.

Sending this out to (Click their names for their blogs!):

Get Back In the Game

2008-12-29T22:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, have not posted because the foot and leg got pretty bad and was just in such a negative place. I was so afraid having the operation was the wrong thing to do. That will not help so have to get past it. Like anything else you make your choices and work on from them.

With Sunday's weigh in two more of the gained pounds have come off. It's a start. Think it helped that I stopped the pain meds. At least I do not feel sick anymore. The food end of six week challenge has been fine but did not do the upper body work until tonight. Used the reformer but the foot still throbs, going to talk to the doctor at the appointment tomorrow about it. May switch to just hand weights and medicine ball.

Heard this quote again while watching Dr. Christiane Northrup, Sunday morning and it was such a good reminder right now.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

Sending Warm Wishes

2008-12-25T06:11:00.000-08:00

May the Spirit

of the

Holiday Last All Year

Magic Eight Ball Says...

2008-12-22T21:19:00.000-08:00

My version of the six week challenge KATSCHI posted is for 100% eating and doing upper body work everyday for six weeks. My positive attitude has been faltering between the exercise issue and the fact that the weight is up at the end of this year. The first year was a great one! I had promised myself no more yo yoing and never more than a ten pound gain at any time. Had not envisioned that the exercise I'd taken on would have to be put on hold during the second year. This year has shown that the exercise is a major key for me to lose. The eating habits are important but do not work on their own. This year has seemed like a waste and not because I have not tried. Have to turn that thought around and keep working on. Believe things will start rolling when it is time. In the mean time work for the best health and attitude.

What Doctors Orders?

2008-12-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

Not much diet or exercise to talk about. The doctor said at least three more weeks until gym shoe on the foot and a least eighteen until weight bearing exercise again. Thought maybe a little getting around would be all right, shoveled the porch and went to the store. Not a good idea and paid the price, foot and legs (walking pretty funny pulls muscles). Back to foot up. While trying to keep from going a little crazy sitting/lying around I remembered we did some wall yoga in a class. Decided to try some of them out (the ones that did not need the feet) so far so good.

Went looking for some other things and came up with this calendar alone the way,

Yoga Dogs.

Thought it was so cute. Hint Santa

Tuesday Check In

2008-12-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

Today has been an odd morning. Still not feeling well, probably the painkillers, and dizzy. Have the first check in with the doctor this morning since the surgery. It will be good to get some fresh air even if it is only 10 degrees.

Have not hit the scale since Sunday and the gain. Going to wait for a bit. Maybe after the stomach feels better and up and moving around more. I know it is in my head but feel like all the muscles are going to mush.

My ride has come..

Working On Turning It Around

2008-12-14T10:15:00.000-08:00

To weigh in or not to weigh in was the question. Answer was why not. Well the initial panic that followed might have been a reason. Six pounds up in three days. It sent the thoughts of gaining during this lack of movement period into overdrive. Still working on worries and attitude. To many conflicting thoughts.

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

Becoming One With the Chair

2008-12-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

Got tired of feeling like a lump in the chair and went looking for some thing doable. Found chair dancing and some other chair routines but they had weight bearing which is not allowed yet. These two below were good for getting started. Have to watch some of the foot stuff, just make alterations. The heart rate may not get into the zone but sure feels better than not doing them at all. Had my son bring down the hand weights and bands. Found some other stretches as well in chair yoga articles. No more just moving at the knee and ankle circles, :-).

Oh Happy Pills

2008-12-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

Well the surgery is done and back home. Gotta love happy pills :-) !

The doctor asked if there was any questions and not sure why but the first that just popped out, "When can I hit the track?" His facial expression was priceless. That was all I got for awhile and then he laughed and said we'll be talking. He is so soft spoken and sweet.

For the deadening of the foot they knocked me out but then just twilight sleep after. When coming around they were taking off the bone spur and it got me giggling. The foot felt like stone, the sound of the drill and the craving pressure sent my out of it mind to thinking he was carving a marble foot sculpture. Why that seemed silly who knows. Missed the neuroma removal, did not mind sleeping through it.

Do not have to worry about food today, just crackers, toast or broth.

Still feeling a little drowsy off and on so think a nap sounds good.

Walking on Sunshine

2008-12-10T09:11:00.000-08:00

Got some work done, good brisk walk in the sun and attitude is turning around thank goodness (morning was starting off just as the night before).

It is funny but it is always cravings that get talked about. Before changing the foods eaten cravings were a big problem. With the past two year's changes it is no longer the old cravings that hit. The situations like last night are not really cravings, it does not feel the same. Thinking about it the experience is more just wanting something to make an instantaneous pleasure. A Calgon take me away moment minus the not doable spa bath. A happy distraction right into the vein, or really, taste buds. Only problem is these days an inner battle starts along with what ever is going on around. Thank goodness for sunny days. Even if they do not end the battle they at least help with a nice shaky cease fire.

Close Call

2008-12-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

Made it through the evening, Whew. The snow storm helped out, never thought I'd say that. Multiple shovelings kept emotional eating at bay. Several things going on but top on the list was my son's anxiety/depression was at an all time high. DH out of town so no help until the weekend. It is true that being busy takes the edge off. The eating would not have been out of hunger but just to drown out the bundle of emotions and frustration during these times. No goodies in the house but even healthy food calories add up. Praying the morning brings a change in the air.

Shoe Love

2008-12-09T07:32:00.000-08:00

Happier feet, yesterday found these and the feet are loving them! It is amazing the difference in walking, even able to speed walk in them without wanting to scream. Still having the surgery but think they will be great even after. They have a special sole and body form. Going to try out the sneakers as well. Hoping they will help to keep the feet from forming new neuromas when going back to workouts.

Merrill (may not be Jimmy Choo but my new shoe love these days ;-) )

The weather has gotten quite nice 37 degrees (though raining). Think a neighborhood walk is on while it lasts.

Heard on the morning program today...

If the grass looks greener on the other side try watering yours.

Scale Stuck Slowskis?

2008-12-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

... oh well, not a gain. There is that moment of disappointment but remembering that this is not something to quit. It is ongoing where ever it goes (or does not ;-) ).

Yesterday was the blood test for the foot operation this coming week. As it turned out the woman taking the blood worked out at the Wellness center I did. She did not know I had not been going anymore. This was because, of all things, she has the same problem. We had both stopped at the same time. She is ahead of me though because she had the surgery three weeks ago. It was a little disheartening because she said at this point it still feels the same as before the operation. She is due to see her doctor soon. I am hoping it is because she is not wearing the special shoe we are suppose to wear after. I was hoping it would be different sooner and be able to start getting back into the swing. Find out soon. It was good to see her, we both plan on meeting up as the feet let us.

This week's plan

Eat less not just portion.

Try and get in the Pilates reformer every day (without foot bar work)

Take vitamins in the evening

What a Pretty Purple... Drink

2008-12-05T07:02:00.000-08:00

Really liked this morning's breakfast! The Express Blender came yesterday and tried it out for breakfast. A few strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, some of a banana and a splash of skim milk. Yum. Love that it makes it in the mug that has a lid to take with as you go. Also that it is not a big thing taking up counter space. Easy clean.

I have this thing about the texture of a lot of fruit so with this that is gone but still get all the good things in the fruit not just the juice. It came with some recipes but they use a lot of juices and sherbets or frozen yogurts. I mostly want to just make fruit drinks. Time to try some combos.

Tomorrow cantaloupe and strawberries.

Picked this up today... Nice! click to hear one of the songs.

Date Set

2008-12-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

It's been so busy. But the Sunday weigh in was a stand still. Ok, since it was over the holiday. Stuck to food plan over the gatherings. Just had to much sitting to lose.

Today got into the foot doctor's. The surgery is finally set, Dec 11, Yeah! So happy to finally be getting it done. While there he noticed the bump on the top of the foot and said it was a bone spur. It is also right at a nerve so it will get done at the same time as the neuroma. It probably was adding to the pain. It will be so great to be able to REALLY work out again after it is healed. Looking for a coming year of renewed loses as things get added back!

Turkey Day Revisited

2008-11-29T07:10:00.000-08:00

Here goes Thanksgiving 2, bum bumb bummm . It's off to the other side of the family. Going to hope to stick to plan like the at the first gathering. We have not seen many of these family members for a while so looking forward to getting together with everyone. Just keep thinking REMEMBER Sunday Weigh In!

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T22:24:00.000-08:00

Ok it's an ad but it feels like it some times...

and for some more fun...

Lost It

2008-11-26T06:27:00.000-08:00

So want to feel like this again!

Just can not seem to get there.

Think FRUSTRATION has taken it's place.

Hate this new me.

Have to keep trying and hope it turns around again.

what's in the details

Mini update

Must get up

It's down deep

Late on Sunday scale fun

Saturday thoughts

*Abby Normal*

Time flies

Body fighting back tonight

And the was much rejoicing, well some

Still lost in thoughts

Bye to the beeping monitors

HYC Tuesday CI

Weekend

Not a happy one

The queen of what

HYC check in

Good ~ Bye Monday

Loving Sunday

Happy Rainy Fourth

Family Fun Friday

Feeling Good Today

Lightheaded Tuesday

Oops Sunday

Sunday again

The day went to...

Hanging in there

Festival, Pool and Ditkas

Sunny Saturday log

Friday

With a little help from my son

Going so fast, the days

Tuesday's stuff

Almost did not make it

Fast weekend

Here we go

Trying to catch up some

Still just the log

Wrapping up the week

Getting through to next week

Wet and windy Wednesday

Trying to get on a schedule

Here it goes again

Should know better!

The fairy strikes again

HYC weekly check in

What a difference a day makes

Hurts so good

HYC Tuesday

Puffy weigh in

Time for a big old kick!

Need to Catch Up

Just for a wee bit O fun

Another Week

Monday's Madness

Sometimes the signs are just there

Breath into it

Classes start

Some Hope Again

Cardio and Talking

Got Some New Shoes On

Scale Seems Content

Watch Out Here He Comes

Does Not Go Away But Better

Okay Body, Fighting Back

This Weeks Mantra

Here goes the happy

Whooo a bit of a scare

Tuesday Drop In

Saturday Fun

Since When...

Snap * That Spark Back

Let's Start the Weekend

Which Way From Here

It's A Puzzlement

Another Sunday

Giving This A Try

Six Week Challenge (week two)

Good Start

Just a Few Reasons

Abby Normal