Still lost in thoughts

Not much to say today.  Still working through parents on the mend.  It has been a period of much thinking since there was a lot of, quiet just being there, time.  Lots of thoughts and questions but not the final answers. Still it looks like a much better week is ahead!  

Sunday weigh in this morning was a happy surprise with two more coming off.  Most of the week had looked like a stand still.   

Came across these two, make you smile shorts...

...now back to the gym for the floor work.  The pool was so lovely this morning (early mornings on the weekend tend not to be crowded), hoping to feel as refreshed tonight. 

Bye to the beeping monitors

 Glad to say GOODBYE to these rooms today and in no hurry to visit again any time soon.  Have to add all the people that worked at both hospitals were great in every possible way.  They do amazing jobs.  Both my father in law and mother have been in different hospitals for a bit more than a week.  They both have on going issues but are glad to be moving on.  Father in law is moving to a nursing home which has a wing for patients which still need extra help for a bit and my mother is home but has special care needs.  

The time in the hospitals has been an extra eye opener to how we can do a number on our bodies.  Both parents had several room mates with various health situations during their stay.  Hearing their stories and how each doctor handles their situations brought many thoughts around.   The most, hit at home, was a rock solid commitment to sticking to a healthy lifestyle.  Being on the brink of several things it would be crazy to try and kid myself to sneak around them.  Knowing I have followed in my mother's foot steps for a lot of my health/body history highlights it even more.  A lot of what she is going through could be in store for me if I'm not careful.  I do not understand how a few of the room mates just wanted to get fixed (medicine, procedure and/or not to be bothered anymore) and go back to things as usual.  It just seems like what brought them in should make an impression for at least a little time.  One woman wanted diet pop and potato chips, for breakfast (plus she was missing her cigarettes).  How long do they think they can abuse their bodies and get away with it, whether it is food, smoking, susbtances, exercise or high stress.  Even if they can kid themselves about being there looking around at some of the situations on the floor can make you stop and think.  

Which leads into time in the cafeteria, a disappointing time.  I was surprised to see a pretty poor set of choices in it.  Even more, seeing out of the choices what was on most plates (even with the health care workers).  Why would a hospital cafeteria have so few healthy foods?  Creating more business?  There are signs up in numerous places for classes or speakers on weight loss, diabetes and heart disease but go eat fried, sauced or cheesed platefuls.  One of the two hospitals had a few more choices, though not many.  

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As for the Tuesday HYC, managed a pound loss this past week.  

Hoping to kick it up some this coming week.

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Posted to fast. My father in law has gone back into the hospital.  

HYC Tuesday CI

From the pool today...

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined."  Henry James

Saw the message board today and was glad to see a new quote.  At first just thought, that is nice but it did not seem to spark much new.  Jumped in and OH the water was cold today.  As the workout brought my brain around to being fully awake you've imagined kept nagging sharper and sharper.  A thought came around, that imagining had sort of stopped.  Just walking through and getting things done had taken root.  Settled? Stuck?  Asleep at the wheel?  In years past there were lots of dreams and thoughts of who, when, how, what... no not that maybe this.  Recently several sharp nagging pokes on this theme have tried to be felt, just mindlessly swatted away them like mosquitoes.  Maybe it is time to listen before sharper ones are sent.  

What a day for a lifedream... 

B banana, ice tea

L salad with turkey breast shavings, ice tea

D broccoli and carrots, halibut, ice tea

______

(morning)

pool 60 min.

(evening)

track 30 min.

free weights

stationary bike 30 min.

HYC check in

Still on the two pound roll off this week. I'll take it :-).

(The sixteen year old is kicking my a** at this, he is shaping up amazingly.  He is down another size.)

Weekend

Lots going on this weekend.  Planned and more unplanned.  

Hoping to get back to this.

************

Sunday

B banana, ice tea

L broccoli, 3 slices pork tenderloin, ice tea

D veggie salad with grilled chicken breast, ice tea

____________

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines

bosu work for abs

stationary bike 30 min.

Saturday

B - banana and cherries, ice tea

L - sm. salad, hamburger, ice tea

D - asparagus, broccoli and cauliflower, beef strips in an onion tomato sauce, ice tea

____

(morning)

pool 60 min.

It isn't the things that are happening to us that cause us to suffer, it's what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening.   ~Pema Chodron Source: Talking to Ourselves

Not a happy one

No jokes or smiles.

A phone call can have such an impact.  It can take a morning with thoughts of what to do and turn it right around to negative thoughts and inactive numbness.  

There had been no call after the blood test and I'd mistakenly come up with the idea the numbers were good so they were just going to mail the information.  Like in the past.  After all some weight has been starting to come off again.  Clothes fitting better.  She had taken me off the high blood pressure medicine and water pill since the blood pressure was so good at that visit.  That seems to be going fine.  Since the food and exercise has been good it was just going to be another, you're doing what you should keep it up.   Everyone happy.  Not quite the way it went.  All the numbers are UP (at least that is nice for the good cholesterol, the thyroid was normal w/ the meds.) now even the glucose was quite elevated.  Did they say come back in?  NO.  Did they say anything?  The nurse just said, "oh wait there is something here... you might want to try Alli.  Just do not go long with fasting." before hanging up.  Huh.  She had said at the visit it would not help because it lowers hunger (not a problem) and keeps you from eating to many fats (it's lovely side effects do and I already have the liver helping me on that).  Plus I read the info and it advises not to take with thyroid problems (that was one of the reason for the blood test).  

Just do not get it.  What to change now?  I hate food.  I hate this body.  I'm sorry.  Changed it all the first year and things worked beautifully.  Now two years later I feel better but the tests do not show it.  Just went numb inside this afternoon.  Stupid thoughts of stop eating and screw work outs.  (I did not say intelligent thoughts)

Now my son is nagging bodily and verbally to get to the gym!  Guess I HAVE to go.  Maybe it will turn my head around...

***************
after the gym decided...

B banana, ice tea

S none

L  broccoli, salmon, ice tea

S none

D none

S none

_________

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines

stationary bike 30 min.

son had me work the punching bag for a bit (take that frustration!)

The queen of what

I'm not worthy...  but thank you, thank you, for this honor  ;-)

Today at the pool it was a beautiful morning.  The water felt SO good and I was ready to get a great workout in.  Powered through various laps, worked the weights and board.  Back to some more various laps. Next, stopping at the end of the lane to do some tucks with weights.  A man that had been in the hot tub was squatting down and greets me with...  you are the Queen of the water aerobics!  Well, that's a first.  A nice one, you never know what someone is going to say at the pool.  Some of the guys sit in that hot tub way to long.  I'd thought he just wanted to share the lane at best.  He chatted about a sort of class that meets twice a week he thought I might like (They also do lap type work, not slower lower impact.  You work a bit more on your own in it than the others).  The timing of them stink though, that is the problem with most classes.  Not sure I want the crown.  That would mean every work out needs to be of royal effort.  The pressure.  What if I was caught just noodle floating?  The horror.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B banana and cherries, ice tea

S none

L chicken breast and pineapple skewers drizzled w/teriyaki over baby spinach, ice tea

S *oops* some of my son's M&Ms at the movie, water

D none

S (after gym) cabbage crunch, slice of ww flaxseed bread with meat sauce, ice tea 

________

(morning)

pool 60 min.

(evening)

track 30 min.

stationary bike 30 min.

elliptical 20 min.

HYC check in

This Sunday's weigh in has the numbers heading two pounds down. One more and I will be back at last December's weight.  The waist measurement has stuck for a long time, BUT the others were where the increase was showing.  It goes to the upper arms, thighs, chest and back.  This week is showing changes for the better again in those areas.  Did not have to do the Stretch the freshly washed jean squats so the thigh sections are not skin huggers this morning.  

********

Why The Weight has a post for Operation Beautiful and in it these two bits screamed to be passed on.  

and

Really glad to find the site at this time.

***********

B slice of ww flaxseed bread, ice tea

S none

L (late) sm salad, a chicken shish kabob (green pepper, onion and tomato), ice tea

S none

D none

S banana, ice tea

__________

(evening)

track 30 min.

weight machines

stationary bike 30 min.

yoga (at home) 30 min. 

Good ~ Bye Monday

"Love is sustained by action, 

a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day."  ~N. Sparks

This quote on the pool message board did not seem to *fit* at first.  Then while working the lapse I thought, "What if the Love was for myself?".   Have not been feeling that lately though trying to fake it until it became real.  The bit about pattern of devotion seemed to stick out (and give a sharp poke).  It cannot just be lip service, to work.  Somehow need to get more behind it.

B none

S none

L peppers, ww orzo w/meat sauce, ice tea

S 3 cubes of cheddar cheese, ice tea

D none

S banana, ice tea

_______

(evening)

pool 90 min.

yoga sequences off the internet (tv dead, may it rest in peace,  so no dvd, and NEEDED to center)

Loving Sunday

Early morning pool lovin (Just had to squeeze it in!)

B none 

S none (early morning swim and then errands)

L cup of potato soup, 4 BBQ rib pieces, green beans, ice tea 

S pistachios, ice tea

D broccoli and cauliflower, potato salad(light on the sauce but still to much potato for one day), 3 chicken tenders, ice tea

S banana, ice tea

_____________

(morning)

pool 75 min.

(evening)

60 min. hike (then about 30 min. much slower pace)

Last two days have gone by to fast.  Throwing up these two posts (Sat. and Sun.) fast.  

Hoping this week brings more time.

Happy Rainy Fourth

B banana, ice tea

S none

L cup of chicken gumbo soup, broccoli carrot and cauliflower, salmon, ice tea

S none

D asparagus, cabbage crunch, 3 slices turkey breast, ice tea

S watermelon (it's the fourth), ice tea

_____________

(morning)

30 min. elliptical 

weight machines

30 min. stationary bike

Oops missed posting...

Family Fun Friday

B banana, ice tea
S none
L (not such a healthy choice, china buffet) a little broccoli chicken, a little pepper steak, 2 small pot stickers, seasoned green beans, a little cantaloupe, ice tea
S none
D pico de gallo, 2 chicken taco, ice tea
S bowl of berries, ice tea
____________________
(morning)
track 30 min.
weight machines 3 sets of reps
stationary bike 30 min.

Family get together day. Back to eating at home tomorrow. It was beautiful weather and nice to have the family (my husband's) all in one place at once (not easy to do). It was a lot of sitting, so glad we got into the gym early to get some work in.

Feeling Good Today

and it feels good... 

B banana, ice tea

S none

L pickle spear, bison burger, ice tea

S none

D none

S (more like dinner) broccoli cauliflower and carrots, a little mash potato, 3 slices roast turkey breast, ice tea

________________

(morning)

lots of yard work and mowing

(late afternoon/evening)

1 1/2 hrs. pool

neighborhood walk

A very busy day.  It was the first day of no HBP med. and water pill. So far no bloat and the numbers were still good.  

B none

S none

L none

S none

D broccoli and cauliflower, ww orzo, 4 oz. BBQ pulled pork (only added a hint of sauce to mine), ice tea

S banana and strawberry slices, ice tea

__________

(evening)

30 min. track

weight machines (3 sets of reps)

bike 30 min.

Today was a doctor's appointment at 3:20.  It was time for the blood tests so it was fasting for the day.  The blood pressure was still so good (110/70) that she said I could try going off the HBP medicine and water pill if I wanted.  She had always said I had to lose the weight before going off them.  Going to give it a try and see how it goes.  I'd really love to be off them.  I'd love to be off all medicine but think the thyroid medicine is here to stay.  The talk about getting the weight off went pretty much the same as before, just keep up what I'm doing and remember I'm doing things for health even if the weight does not move as I would like. Have to admit it made me quite sad at first.  She kept saying there is no magic pill.  I KNOW there is no such thing, but just wish there was something else to try and get things moving like the first year so things were not just yoyoing.  Time to get over it and just keep working.  Fingers crossed all the blood test numbers come back good.