Will Not Let This Fade Out

Ok need this bright start. It has turned cold, windy and grey again. Yesterday was so sunny and actually hot. The days just keep jumping back and forth with this weather. Spring just can not get a foot hold. Like the weather I have been flip flopping on this weight loss mindset lately. Just so feed up with no progress. At the same time so what the losses to start back, need them to. This foot issue has not helped with the impact it has had on workout. Yesterday feed up with it I decided to go hiking anyway. Walked through it, just missed the outings so. It hurts when I do nothing but today reminds me that it can up the level when pushed or should I say pinched. The therapy and pad at the back of the bone is not seeming to be very helpful. Go in again today, see what he says. The eating over the holiday was not to bad. It was mostly a work and clean up weekend. Did go and see a movie and did not pass on the popcorn, it was plain but they still had some salt on it. Woke up really wanting meat so had a little leftover chicken with the bread for breakfast. Have decided to really play it strict starting now to see if that helps even with the cut in workout.

Just self reminder... Defeat should not be a source of discouragement but a stimulus for a fresh start :-).

Just Funny

I was moaning about the therapy not helping my foot and it was said what did you expect magical fairy butterflies. It was so out there we laughed. Then I saw this image and thought hey here is the butterfly to come fix it, :-). If nothing else maybe it will bring some happiness to a house full of male ARGGGHH. It has been hard finding things that do not aggravate the foot. Going to try and really watch the food this holiday weekend. Just not sure with the cutting back on exercise were the calorie count should fall and not get it to low also.

Memo Board Speaks Again

Though the yoga class had the foot grumbling still thought the pool sounded good. Once again the memo board nails it.

Defeat should not be a source of discouragement
but a stimulus for a fresh start :-).

Have To Regroup ... Now

Having one of those days that being this kitty looks good.

Finding life pretty hard these days. Really think the strenuous exercise helped with mood and eating more than I ever thought. Went all this time not ever feeling hungry or tempted to old ways. Since the workouts have been on hold the non hunger *hungries* are back and the cravings (though not so strong as before) are back. Was very frustrated today because Sunday thought go and do light work out (hoping to not aggravate the foot) but it did even with the light workout. Had the therapy on the foot Monday and the foot and up into the leg were bad all night. So much in the workouts that get the heart rate up uses the foot. Here I'm already frustrated with the lack of weight loss with the work outs and now no work outs. So afraid things will head back up. Not sure how long this foot thing will go on. And really am afraid if it does not work and needs the surgery, it and the healing could drag out for quite a while. Guess take it one day at a time and work it the best it can be. Meantime could use the warm fuzzies.

Keep on Keeping On

Your life is your garden, your thoughts are the seeds.
If your life isn't awesome, you've been watering the weeds.

Time for some weeding and a good layer of mulch :-) .

Hope For The Foot

Finally found out what is making my foot hurt after all this time. Morton's neuroma ~ is a benign, perineural fibrotic lesion of a common digital nerve. Going to go the non surgical route first. Podiatrist said it will hurt a little more before it gets better. Thought he was wrong at first but as the day has gone on, yep he was right. But it will finally go away so it will all be good in the end. Between mine and my son's appointments no gym time was squeezed in. Really going to have to watch the food end since there are so many extra things for the next two weeks. Plus not suppose to aggravate the foot, that really cuts into the things in the workout. May be talking to the trainer for ideas.
Not my foot but like it, space between the two toes because of the nerve. As it started hurting more today walked on the heel and now silly me the lower leg is sore also.

Finding the waiting for answers for my son is really making the emotional eating pop up again. It is easier to deal with during the busy times of the day. Not so much at the other times. Also found that there were times where the thought... mmm I want something sweet, now! ... is back to popping in. Have to keep focusing on the question, am I really hungry. The answer that always comes back is NO but that voice can nag away. Hope when the frustration and worries are answered at least some it will wane off.

Hanging On

It has been a day and a half! Did not get into the gym to weigh in, hopefully tomorrow, but there are three doctor appointments so may not make it in until Tuesday. The house scale showed no change but it is not accurate, could be + or - either way with that one. Think staying the same would be fine with the week it has been. This coming week is going to be more of the same. Just have to get more workouts in and stay on top of the emotions.

Sending Happy Mother's Day kisses out.

Ohhh... Almost

A day that felt like this...


have you had one lately? The real thing is as fast as you do manage to get something off the list two things have been added. No work out but I'm exhausted.
BBL

New Message On the Board

Once again the message board at the pool sends a thought out...

Difficulties in life are meant to make us better...
Not bitter.

I get it. Had left the gym floor for the pool because I was not shaking thoughts that I wanted to, no matter how much pushing it and sweating. The pool always seems to lift me out of whatever to calm content. Think it is the water. Reading that just made it a slam dunk.
The gym has had so few people there lately. It is a little sad to not see the regular faces (hope they are just busy and well) or have many new ones around. At least there is no waiting or fighting for equipment or lanes.
Getting the mindless emotional eating under control.

Start By Accenting The Positive

Made it to yoga class, very glad there was time for it.
This class is great for the poses but also for the teacher's thoughts. She always seems to have things to say that strike a chord. Today while working in a pose she started talking about working through from your strengths not from where you are struggling. Realized the thought process for me had been to scan for the weaknesses in the pose alignment or discomfort and work on them never thinking about the strong aspects. Turning to the idea of starting with where there is a strong base made the work on to the less perfect part or uncomfortable part easier to deal with or work through. She got herself and the class giggling with sharing that the thought brought on the song, accent the positive ... eliminate the negative ... and don't mess with mister in between. Starting and sending out the positive always seems to be the best way to go.

Here was the actual song -- it gave us such silliness
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene (To illustrate his last remark Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark What did they do Just when everything looked so dark)
Man, they said we better Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between No, do not mess with Mister In-Between
Do you hear me, hmm? (Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear About the elininatin' of the negative And the accent on the positive)
And gather 'round me children if you're willin'
And sit tight while I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right (You've gotta accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don't mess with Mister In-Between)
You've got to spread joy (up to the maximum)
Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum
Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor)
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark What did they say (what did they say)
Say when everything looked so dark
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between

Oh Crap...

Have to admit this morning has been the first real binge eating since this YOAD started. Can not let things take me there. Thought it was all an old habit not to be seen again guess that it can hit even if you know better and you know something eaten will actually make you sick. It is all so mindless. Just eat to wipe out the fears and frustration, but it does not. Have to remember I can not feel crappy and be there for my son and he needs me there at the moment. The kitchen is off limits.

Also have to get timing in for exercise. Still numb but have to shake it off.

For Alex

So Much For Plans

Looks like tomorrow will be as messed up as today was. Will try and get in to Pilates class and hopefully some workout in the evening at home. Will not sink to dk. choco. M&Ms again!

Another week :-( The Same

My new plan for weight loss! Since nothing else is working very well anymore.



This made up for the scale and measure let down. Working outside in the nice weather and the garden is great. Sore now but great.
BBL

Plans Keep Changing

So I can get the yard work done!


My tulips look like this, the poor yellow butterflies magnolia has lost most of it's petals to the rain storm. But the crab apple is budding so it will start up with a few sunny days.

Did not go to the gym today, it was storming with hail this morning. It cleared as other things were scheduled. This evening back to storms. No biking either, pout! Have to do the pilates reformer at home tonight and maybe a dvd. Definitely getting in to the gym tomorrow morning whatever the weather is doing.

Oh, the rain let up around 9:00 pm. Got a half an hour ride in. Streets were quiet and it was really fresh outside. Made for a nice time.